you bastárd

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamestaft/3435153000/

It's a bombed out church actually so technically it's a war memorial as well

Wasn't that bad, it was on the street in some bushes which happened to be in the gardens of the church.

It's a shít way to lose £80 though.

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RAP, that's a bástard.

They're re-laying one of the main roads round here and it's like a gravel track at the moment. 20mph speed limit on there but everyone still hums along at 50. I'm absolutely terrified of the windscreen getting cracked, I can hear the stones chipping away at the window but I've got away with it so far.

Did it come off your no claims?

I had a chip about 6 months back had the windscreen repaired...2 days later get another chip but not big som I'm pretending it aint there

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Morning ladies

Didi - good news on the epic creamy bristols. Did you look like a big chocolate T on its hind legs?

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Don't forget the "Awooga", that's the bit they love best.

And definitely wear dungarees on your next date.

I need to go somewhere with a breeze, so I can feel the cool wind lapping at my testicles that hang like water balloons swinging off a tap.

Odd image.

Kriss Akabluisi has warped my mind.

Good weekend then chaps?

Yeah not bad. Won by 9 wickets on Saturday. Ex-1st team captain got forced out earlier in the season and now refuses to play for anyone except the 3rds, he took 7-37 and hit 107no off 76 balls. So I didn't get to bat.

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That actually sounds pretty shít, like he's ruining it for the rest of you?

Nah not at all. I'm a good fielder and enjoy it, plus he's a mate and we all feel pretty bad about the shameful way he was ousted.

Basically he's a lifetime member, family has been at the club forever... he's the best bat in the club, has hit over 12000 runs over about 10 years (he's mid-20s). Averaging 60.29 for this season in 22 games. And he's a pretty big guy, quite overweight.

Towards the beginning of the season other 1s players raised concerns about his captaincy because he didn't take training seriously enough, and the new chairman muscled in and sacked him, bringing his weight into question. Bear in mind the guy plays upwards of 35 games a year - ie. Every Saturday and every Sunday - and fitness has never been an issue.

He quit the club then and has only just decided to start playing again. Lots of people were very upset with the way the club behaved.

That is pretty poor, have they tried to mend the bridges at all?

That is pretty poor, have they tried to mend the bridges at all?

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Yes, but he has since been banned from walking across those too

I did think of slipping a fat joke in but I was trying to be mature.

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nah no attempt by the club, I'd be just as píssed off if I were him.