Can't remember the last time we had one of these. Must be some new stories, pranks, etc, since the last one.
The Jason McAteer coathanger story is always funny, and this
So there’s 100,000 in the Giants stadium, it’s 100 degrees and there’s millions watching around the world. My friends and family are in the crowd, and it’s the most proudest moment of my life. We come out on to the pitch, Ireland have lined up here and Norway have lined up here and the referee’s stood in the middle, like you would see in the Champions League. So the National Anthem starts, I’ve got my chest out and I’ve got John Aldridge here and Roy Keane standing this side to me. So I’m standing there and I’ve looked down the line and I see Andy Townsend. He’s whispered into Pacccckie Bonner’s ear, and Paccckie’s whispered into Terry Phelan’s ear, then it goes to Paul Mc Grath and it goes down the line to Steve Staunton and it’s coming up to John and I’m thinking JUST LISTEN because I’m not the brightest button in the box and it’s obviously gonna be last minute instructions like ‘Don’t give the ball away’ or ‘Keep it tight we only need a draw’. So John leans across and he just whispers in me ear and goes “Row F. Bird with the Viking hat".
He went “Look at the size of her bo00obs!" And then he went “Pass it on". So I’ve gone “Jesus Christ they’re massive!" So I’ve gone “Jesus Christ it’s Roy!" So I went to John “It’s Roy!" and John’s said “Just tell him!" So I went “I can’t!" And he’s said “JUST TELL HIM!"
So I went ..
“Keep it tight Roy don’t give the ball away don’t do anything stupid!"
Football funnies...
posted on 29/1/16
Was pretty funny though
posted on 29/1/16
I'm just reading Muzzy Izzet's book. There's a great bit in it when we first signed Steve Guppy. He was staying in a hotel and Muzzy rang him to welcome him to the club. They were having a good chat and Muzzy said 'See you at training tomorrow. Oh, and coz it's Monday, we don't bother turning up until 1pm so we'll see you then'
Guppy turned up at the training ground just as the other players were finishing the training session and Martin O'Neill fined him £600 for being late on his first day...!
posted on 29/1/16
i remember in fwent to a snooker hall and someone gave him a adrink but it was p11111ss.
he launched a snooker ball at the bloke on the way out and it hit him right in the face.
fergie grabbed a snooker cue, ran outside and locked the door with it behind him
posted on 29/1/16
comment by Deputy Dunc, dont make me ban your ass (U11713)
posted 21 minutes ago
i remember in fwent to a snooker hall and someone gave him a adrink but it was p11111ss.
he launched a snooker ball at the bloke on the way out and it hit him right in the face.
fergie grabbed a snooker cue, ran outside and locked the door with it behind him
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In English Dunc, we don't all speak Doncaster
posted on 29/1/16
in fergies book he went
stupid fecking phone
posted on 29/1/16
It's the way you tell 'em!
posted on 29/1/16
I heard a story coming out of that great FA Cup tie against Manchester City in '68 whereby a tremendous crash was heard somewhere in the Kop/Double Decker followed by howls of laughter. Someone had, apparently, managed to pull out a toilet cistern complete with ballcock, chain and handle through corrugated iron or a wall leaving a large gap in the said stand. The roar came when a face suddenly appeared from within, looking out to see what had happened.
I've often remarked about the roof caving in that night so I guess this was the answer.
posted on 29/1/16
The beachball scoring against Liverpool and the memes showing g Neville throwing it on the pitch were pretty darn funny 😆
posted on 29/1/16
Nicky Butt had a good story about when he'd not long been in the 1st team at United.
There was a big pot of boiling tea in the changing rooms after a game and it was on the table in the middle of the room. Nicky went over and was pouring himself a drink. Peter Schmeichel walked across to the table - completely naked - and someone shouted him. He turned around (so his back was to the table) and was having a conversation with them.
Nicky Butt then picked up the teapot and pushed it towards Schmeichels bare *rse, pretending to burn it. But at that point Schmeichel turned around quickly because some of the players were sniggering. The teapot was too close to him and he ended up burning his kn*b, leaving it badly blistered.
posted on 29/1/16
comment by Barf Vader (U15867)
posted 6 minutes ago
Nicky Butt had a good story about when he'd not long been in the 1st team at United.
There was a big pot of boiling tea in the changing rooms after a game and it was on the table in the middle of the room. Nicky went over and was pouring himself a drink. Peter Schmeichel walked across to the table - completely naked - and someone shouted him. He turned around (so his back was to the table) and was having a conversation with them.
Nicky Butt then picked up the teapot and pushed it towards Schmeichels bare *rse, pretending to burn it. But at that point Schmeichel turned around quickly because some of the players were sniggering. The teapot was too close to him and he ended up burning his kn*b, leaving it badly blistered.
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Ouch