Ole Gunnar Solskjaer walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Solskjaer:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Manager of Manchester United".
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Solskjaer: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Solskjaer but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Solskjaer,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Solskjaer stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Solskjaer?"
If you don’t laugh you’ll cry
posted on 28/10/21
comment by Vidicschin (U3584)
posted 38 minutes ago
comment by There'sOnlyOneRed's (U1721)
posted 17 minutes ago
Jesus it's now at the point they're taking the ัiss out of their own club.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Happens to us all TOOR. You lot were the same not that long ago.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Indeed a bit humour isn't the end of the world and the clubs fans that can't do it is clearly up their own rear end
posted on 29/10/21
comment by There'sOnlyOneRed's (U1721)
posted 2 hours, 30 minutes ago
Jesus it's now at the point they're taking the ัiss out of their own club.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What's wrong with a bit of humour you miserable twaaaaaat.
posted on 29/10/21
See, this is why United fans are a decent bunch on here unlike the London boards....
posted on 29/10/21
comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 5 hours, 47 minutes ago
What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United ?
A triangle has three points
A little girl was making a wish with Santa, she said I would like a unicorn for christmas, Santa replies but unicorns are just imaginary make another wish, she says ok I would like Manchester United to win a game.
Santa replied, what colour unicorn would you like?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's one for ya, what's the difference between the OP joke and yours?
posted on 29/10/21
posted on 29/10/21
A van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Manchester United fan he would see strutting down the side of the road, dressed in their ubiquitous red colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Manchester United fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the bloody priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the man.
However even though he was certain he missed the glory-hunting shiiiite, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said
I'm sorry Father, I almost hit that Manchester United fan,"
"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got the f***er with the door!"
posted on 29/10/21
Not about Utd but related to
David Beckham gets into a London cab, sits there for a few seconds when the cabbie looks at Becks and says ‘go on then give us a clue’? Beckham replies ‘used to play for Utd, ex captain of England and married to a spice girl’ the cabbie replied ‘ no you thick tw..t , where do you want to go’
posted on 29/10/21
Q.What's the difference between a hedgehog and the Man U team bus?
A. The Man U bus has more prcks!
posted on 29/10/21
A dated joke but funny
Q: What’s the difference between Alex Ferguson and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine eventually stops whining!
posted on 29/10/21
Man United fans really are the pits.