I have completed sixty six trips around the sun. That is more than sixty two billion kilometres. Travelling at a staggering velocity of 108,000 Km per hour, whilst also spinning on my own axis at roughly one thousand kilometres during each and every one of those hours. Every hour. Of every day. Of every year. For sixty six years.
To travel the same distance, light would take just 206 seconds. But, of course, light travels light. The clue is in the name.
As I hurtle through my sixty seventh cosmic journey around our local star, and try to contemplate the enormous, but completely incomprehensible, amount of space I have traversed, the human brain withdraws from the awesome macro to the awful micro. I contemplate the ignorant space within my head where understanding and knowledge are akin to matter beyond an event horizon. My mind is a black hole.
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai guru deva, om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
They call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letterbox they
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai guru deva, om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing
Through my open ears inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru deva, om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Where do they all go? All those, thoughts, feelings and experiences. All those musings, reflections and emotions? If my mind is indeed a black hole, is it possible that, like a corona mass ejection - or a gamma ray burst from it’s poles - all this information pours out again, randomly, into the vast void. My own personal reincarnation. The haphazard blending of all this information results in some very distorted memories. Here’s an example;
I remember the very morning that I handed my father his 50th birthday card. His face flushed with sadness and disappointment as he lay a concerned hand on my shoulder. “Son," he said; “One would have been enough. You didn’t need to buy fifty."
The barely perceptible dim spark that represents my brief existence in the cosmos nonetheless fires my imagination - itself a mere neutrino of consciousness in a colossal gravitational wave. Perhaps not even that. Perhaps I am less than a quantum sub-particle. A Higgs-Boson of intellect.
I also remember that same year that I was going to go to the Halloween celebrations as Amelia Earhart - and then never showed up to the party.
So, as I sit an consider the sum total of my dim spark, my mind turns to my own inevitable mortality. Where does the sum total of me go? Get your tickets here for the worm-hole trip into an, as yet, unborn universe?
God, and his only son, made a courtesy visit to Earth one Sunday morning. Perhaps this very Sunday morning. Space-time is relative, after all. Like an uncle, or a cousin.
Orange blossoms opened their fragrant lips
Songbirds sang from the tips
"Well, we better get going, " said the restless Lord to the Son
"There are galaxies yet to be born
Creation is never done
Anyway, these people are slobs here
If we stay there’s bound to be a mob scene
But, disappear, and it's love and hard times
Hard times? Hmmm… Yesterday I gave a homeless guy, outside of Lidl, my iPhone and €500 euros. You will never know the happiness I felt when he finally put his gun away.
“Jai guru deva, om
Nothing's gonna change my world"
As the recording of the song came to an end, John Lennon shouted into the microphone; “I wish it f**king would!"
_________
Postscript. I hope this comes across as was intended - lighthearted. My cancer, I’ve just learned, has returned for the third time. I do hope I get the opportunity to post on JA606 again as my journey hits the final straight. My many, many thanks to all. It has genuinely been, in the main, a good laugh.
And please, do go get a finger up your Argentina. A prostate is a terrible thing to waste. Love and best wishes, dudes.
Contemplating My Own Mortality
posted on 15/9/24
Busby - Incredible. We’ve all known each other - through JA606 - for so many years and yet, none of us have really shared our darkest thoughts. That’s the downside of being born male, I suppose. We just don’t share such stuff. Plus the old “British Stiff Upper Lip” mannerism. Just a flesh wound.
The thought of having your doctor’s finger up your Argentina is not - I assume, in most cases - a thought to dwell on. It’ll last 30 seconds. But it could extend your life by 30 years.
Do it. For your kids’ sake. For your wife’s sake. For your own peace of mind.
posted on 15/9/24
Sorry - that’s generally aimed at all of JA606, not specifically Busby.
Dwight - as promised, I’m saying that non-religious prayer for you. Don’t know the exact words but it goes something like;
Crank. Crank. Crank… Pop!…. Glug, glug, glug…
I do love a good red wine sacrament. Blessings, dude.
posted on 15/9/24
Stay strong dude. Praying for you. I have no doubt you will pull through the 3rd time and beat the bastard
Keep fighting!
posted on 16/9/24
Fck me Dwight, good luck also man.
posted on 16/9/24
Good luck guys, puts my barstood sciatica into perspective
posted on 16/9/24
Just take the day as it comes, enjoy it if possible.
And very good luck to both of you.
posted on 16/9/24
All the best to both Beeb and Dwight.
I haven't spoken about this before on here, and probably never would if not for this post; but I lost my wife last August. She suffered a bleed on her brain completely out of the blue. She was in a coma for a week, but was unfortunately brain dead and there was nothing that could be done for her. She was just 40 years old. A am left a widower at 45, with 2 young children to raise.
I haven't mentioned this for sympathy, but more because Beeb and Dwight's circumstances relate in some way to my own experiences.
My wife was an incredibly caring and compassionate woman, always looking to help others. It was no surprise to anyone that knew her that her last act was one of kindness - she was a registered organ donor and her organs saved the lives of 3 people. Just a few weeks ago myself and our children attended a ceremony where we accepted the Order Of St John on my wife's behalf. It is something that I am extremely proud of and gives me great comfort to know that, even in death she continued to give, and impacted the lives of so many people. Dwight, fingers crossed for you that you get transplant.
As for contemplating our own mortality and the question of if there is something else after this - I have never been religious, but felt that there was perhaps something else once we pass. Following the loss of my wife, I have experienced many 'supernatural' events that I simply can't explain with logic. I feel that she has been present at certain times and also sent me messages when I've needed them. Its hard to fully explain without going into more detail, and I don't have the time right now. But I do believe that there is something else after this world.
posted on 16/9/24
comment by Elvis (U7425)
posted 1 hour, 22 minutes ago
All the best to both Beeb and Dwight.
I haven't spoken about this before on here, and probably never would if not for this post; but I lost my wife last August. She suffered a bleed on her brain completely out of the blue. She was in a coma for a week, but was unfortunately brain dead and there was nothing that could be done for her. She was just 40 years old. A am left a widower at 45, with 2 young children to raise.
I haven't mentioned this for sympathy, but more because Beeb and Dwight's circumstances relate in some way to my own experiences.
My wife was an incredibly caring and compassionate woman, always looking to help others. It was no surprise to anyone that knew her that her last act was one of kindness - she was a registered organ donor and her organs saved the lives of 3 people. Just a few weeks ago myself and our children attended a ceremony where we accepted the Order Of St John on my wife's behalf. It is something that I am extremely proud of and gives me great comfort to know that, even in death she continued to give, and impacted the lives of so many people. Dwight, fingers crossed for you that you get transplant.
As for contemplating our own mortality and the question of if there is something else after this - I have never been religious, but felt that there was perhaps something else once we pass. Following the loss of my wife, I have experienced many 'supernatural' events that I simply can't explain with logic. I feel that she has been present at certain times and also sent me messages when I've needed them. Its hard to fully explain without going into more detail, and I don't have the time right now. But I do believe that there is something else after this world.
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I genuinely don't know what to say Elvis that isn't hackneyed.
But bravely said. bravely born.
All the very best to you and your family. truly.
posted on 17/9/24
comment by manusince52 (U9692)
posted 21 hours, 49 minutes ago
comment by Elvis (U7425)
posted 1 hour, 22 minutes ago
All the best to both Beeb and Dwight.
I haven't spoken about this before on here, and probably never would if not for this post; but I lost my wife last August. She suffered a bleed on her brain completely out of the blue. She was in a coma for a week, but was unfortunately brain dead and there was nothing that could be done for her. She was just 40 years old. A am left a widower at 45, with 2 young children to raise.
I haven't mentioned this for sympathy, but more because Beeb and Dwight's circumstances relate in some way to my own experiences.
My wife was an incredibly caring and compassionate woman, always looking to help others. It was no surprise to anyone that knew her that her last act was one of kindness - she was a registered organ donor and her organs saved the lives of 3 people. Just a few weeks ago myself and our children attended a ceremony where we accepted the Order Of St John on my wife's behalf. It is something that I am extremely proud of and gives me great comfort to know that, even in death she continued to give, and impacted the lives of so many people. Dwight, fingers crossed for you that you get transplant.
As for contemplating our own mortality and the question of if there is something else after this - I have never been religious, but felt that there was perhaps something else once we pass. Following the loss of my wife, I have experienced many 'supernatural' events that I simply can't explain with logic. I feel that she has been present at certain times and also sent me messages when I've needed them. Its hard to fully explain without going into more detail, and I don't have the time right now. But I do believe that there is something else after this world.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I genuinely don't know what to say Elvis that isn't hackneyed.
But bravely said. bravely born.
All the very best to you and your family. truly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks mate.
It's been a tough year for sure, but we have 2 massive families and a huge number of friends rallying around us.
posted on 17/9/24
comment by Elvis (U7425)
posted 1 day ago
All the best to both Beeb and Dwight.
I haven't spoken about this before on here, and probably never would if not for this post; but I lost my wife last August. She suffered a bleed on her brain completely out of the blue. She was in a coma for a week, but was unfortunately brain dead and there was nothing that could be done for her. She was just 40 years old. A am left a widower at 45, with 2 young children to raise.
I haven't mentioned this for sympathy, but more because Beeb and Dwight's circumstances relate in some way to my own experiences.
My wife was an incredibly caring and compassionate woman, always looking to help others. It was no surprise to anyone that knew her that her last act was one of kindness - she was a registered organ donor and her organs saved the lives of 3 people. Just a few weeks ago myself and our children attended a ceremony where we accepted the Order Of St John on my wife's behalf. It is something that I am extremely proud of and gives me great comfort to know that, even in death she continued to give, and impacted the lives of so many people. Dwight, fingers crossed for you that you get transplant.
As for contemplating our own mortality and the question of if there is something else after this - I have never been religious, but felt that there was perhaps something else once we pass. Following the loss of my wife, I have experienced many 'supernatural' events that I simply can't explain with logic. I feel that she has been present at certain times and also sent me messages when I've needed them. Its hard to fully explain without going into more detail, and I don't have the time right now. But I do believe that there is something else after this world.
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Your wife lives on in your kids
I hope there is something else after this life & we can be reunited with all our loved ones again