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<groooaaannnnnnn> How old is that one?

Heres one

A pregnent woman execting triplets goes into the bank one morning and theres a robbery, she gets shot three times in the stomach, somehow the mother and her babies are fine, survives the attack and gives birth to two girls and a boy.

16 years later, the first daughter runs downstairs to her mother screaming and crying

"Whats the Matter?" Said mother

"Well I was at the toilet and then a bullet fell out of my...you know"

So the mother explained to her what had happened 16 years earlier

A few month pass and then her other daughter runs down to her mother crying and complains of the same, so her mother explains to her what happened those years ago

Then a few more months pass and the lad runs downstairs panicking

"Mum, something terribles happened" Said the lad panting

"Let me guess you was at the toilet having a wee and a bullet fell out?"

"No, no, much worse, I was...ahem...having a tommy tank and then shot the dog"

my all time favorite

cripes
We've all been there Poite

Anyhoo, any of you going to take advantage of the comedy festival next month? I'm going to bag me some tickets for Richard Herring and one of Russell Kane or Tom Wrigglesworth.
Herring is immense.
Big line up, http://lastlaughcomedyfestival.co.uk/

There's summat wrong with the line up on that site Erno,

I can't find Danny Wilson and the Bramall Laners on it.

Last night I dreamt I ate my pillow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was missing.

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

God theres some miserable old farts on here isnt there. Im looking at you Oxlong!

I suppose we should go back to the normal then.

Should we sign Barkley on loan? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

No need to be so touchy.....

I met a man, I said;
"what do you do?"
He said;
"I'm in oil"
I replied;
"Are you a sardine?"

Yes...anyway back to being not miserable

Knock Knock...

Wheres ToonOwl when you need him?

No idea, Izzy may know.

Anyway, I've been to the doctor's and received some bad news.
It's the Big "C" I'm afraid...









that's right, Dyslexia.

Was in the local pub on Saturday night, and this shifty character came over and asked if I wanted to buy a 6 month sick note..

..All I had to do was fill my name in..

..I said ' do I look like Keith Hill '

Can i just remind those of who who stole electrical goods in the riots last year that your twelve month warranty is out of date next week.

That's ok, I trashed an online store...




...didn't do my monitor much good though.

Toon Owl is banned for reasons unknown.

Q: Where does Kylie Minogue get her kebabs?

A: From Jason's Doner Van.

I shown Paddy my new iPhone the other day

So he held it against his eye and said "hello?...theres nobody there"...




<tumbleweed and church bells>





...I'll get mi coat