Admin going to ban you for this outrage
Finally had time to read it and agree with the majority of views expressed regarding the forthcoming season.
I found the penultimate paragraph a bit of a struggle to get through. May be easier to digest if you broke it up into two paragraphs but good stuff overall.
I dont disagree with much of the content but gramatically it could be improved so it flows a bit better.
For example, there are a couple passages where you use the word 'and' twice in the same sentence. This should really be broke up into two seperate sentences.
Also, you use 'I' and 'I'm' in it a fair bit. Personal pronouns should be avoided in an article of this type. It sounds more authoritive.
If you absolutely must put yourself in the article, its better put something in the line of 'in this writers opinion.'
To add on, I hope this helps.
The article is good but needs some tightening.
Blueboy:
That's why I never was any good at English. But thanks for the feedback
Kharinesleggings
Thanks for the feedback mate
No worries always good to read viewpoints of fellow fans. Reason why we're all on this forum, well most of us anyway ha ha
Page 1 of 1
First
Previous
1
Next
Latest
Sign in if you want to comment
Blog/Article on Chelsea
Page 1 of 1
posted on 15/8/13
Admin going to ban you for this outrage
posted on 15/8/13
Finally had time to read it and agree with the majority of views expressed regarding the forthcoming season.
I found the penultimate paragraph a bit of a struggle to get through. May be easier to digest if you broke it up into two paragraphs but good stuff overall.
posted on 15/8/13
I dont disagree with much of the content but gramatically it could be improved so it flows a bit better.
For example, there are a couple passages where you use the word 'and' twice in the same sentence. This should really be broke up into two seperate sentences.
Also, you use 'I' and 'I'm' in it a fair bit. Personal pronouns should be avoided in an article of this type. It sounds more authoritive.
If you absolutely must put yourself in the article, its better put something in the line of 'in this writers opinion.'
posted on 15/8/13
To add on, I hope this helps.
The article is good but needs some tightening.
posted on 15/8/13
Blueboy:
That's why I never was any good at English. But thanks for the feedback
posted on 15/8/13
Kharinesleggings
Thanks for the feedback mate
posted on 15/8/13
No worries always good to read viewpoints of fellow fans. Reason why we're all on this forum, well most of us anyway ha ha
Page 1 of 1