What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

Roberto - wouldn't that be a bloke who steals your toe ?

After a long night of making love the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.

'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.

'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.

She whispers in his ear 'That's me before the surgery.'

3 dog turds in the street, which one is the musketeer?

The dark tan yin.

Sorry dont understand, 3 musketeers were Athos, Porthos and Aramis, where does the dog poo link get in there ?

knock knock







who's there?





Chelsea!








Chelsea who?

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Did you hear about the Chinese Paralympian?

Lim Ping.

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Because he got caught with seaweed.