Winston Churchill said there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Unless you're Asamoah Gyan of course. All he has to look forward to is death.
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He's a true England captain, he wouldn't go to a bar in New Zealand to throw dwarves, he's got a midget chucking pitch in his own house.

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I want a midget chucking pitch!

I'm guessing Dave Pundit is not an Arsenal fan! Weird......

He's a true England captain, he wouldn't go to a bar in New Zealand to throw dwarves, he's got a midget chucking pitch in his own house.

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Please let this be true

i'm guessing you don't like foreigners

Winston Churchill said there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Unless you're Asamoah Gyan of course. All he has to look forward to is death.
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Absolutely brilliant.

I'm left wondering what a midget chucking pitch looks like please somebody post a link

I'm left wondering what a midget chucking pitch looks like please somebody post a link

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it looks more like a long jump sand-pit as opposed to a pit, with a tape measure along the length, so as to determine your score.

I'd imagine....

*as opposed to a pitch

Winston Churchill said there are only two certainties in life: death and taxes. Unless you're Asamoah Gyan of course. All he has to look forward to is death.
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Quality!

I find it annoying that Dave can't post on more boards. I get the feeling everyone gets the joke nowadays. He needs a more unsuspecting audience.

This is one of your best efforts yet JJG, I especially like the wound licking section. I often have to read it two or three times to make sure I've spotted all the puns.

"whatever the opposite of a wound licker is"

A shark?

Yea JJG I was thinking that, too. You should ask on the feedback thread if your article can be posted on all 20 PL boards like on the old 606.

Oh and:

"I heard afterwards that it was a tedious, boring, low scoring game anyway. I'll probably watch it this week."

I generally prefer to stay under the radar of the feedback threads to be honest.

haha class as usual Mr Pundit

"As for Swansea, you can say what you want about the Welsh."

Not sure those Welsh soldiers who returned home through Brize Norton would agree with you.