Want me to send the boys around?

comment by HebridesRam (U2909)
posted 11 minutes ago
Want me to send the boys around?
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Do they have four legs and a woolly coat?

We are heading for a crash Scouse. Even the tattoo parlour and the fast food joints are closing down in Thorne. Thanks everyone out there who voted Brexit. May you enjoy your new found poverty.

comment by I'm not Spartacus, to be quite Frank (U4603)
posted about an hour ago
We are heading for a crash Scouse. Even the tattoo parlour and the fast food joints are closing down in Thorne. Thanks everyone out there who voted Brexit. May you enjoy your new found poverty.
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I hope you are wrong Spart, I'm owed enough to buy a new house in Thorne.

What almost a thousand pound?

comment by ScouseRam (U9675)
posted 2 hours, 52 minutes ago
I'll tell you what, after being in business on my own for 23 years this month, I have never had so much hassle getting customers to pay their bills as I have in the last six months!

I'm like a bleedin' credit union.
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Good luck with getting dosh out of the Italians.

comment by Iwaslevel (U4836)

Good luck with getting dosh out of the Italians.
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I'm contracted to a German outfit Iwas.

Italy is a great country, but a nightmare to deal with on a professional level I agree!

Only contract we ever started working on without a letter of intent was 3 semolina dryers for a well known Neopolitan family. They said they were men of honour and we should take their word. They were true to it and we delivered on time. Just as well as I didn't want a horse head in the bed.

Of all the animal heads to have in your bed, I don’t think a horse’s is the worst. They’ve got quite nice heads as a rule.

I don’t want to know animal you fancy Vidal.

There’s a joke about a horse and a donkey who meet in a bar, but it’s quite long, and I don’t really know if I can be bothered. It’s football-related though, slightly.

If it’s funny then go for it.

I’m off to post a padded envelope full of classical music.

Bach in a Jiffy

Lord Nelson was 5ft 6inches. His Statue is 17ft 4inches. That’s Horatio of 3:1

A horse meets a donkey in a bar and they start chatting. The horse asks the donkey what he does for a living and the donkey replies that he gives kids rides on the sand all day, up and down, up and down. The donkey asks the horse the same question and the horse answers that he’s a racehorse. He pulls out some photos from his pocket of him winning the St. Leger, The Oaks, The Derby, etc. The donkey is mortified and thinks how pathetic he must appear to this fine horse, just giving kids rides on the beach.

Nevertheless, they arrange to have dinner at the donkey’s house next day, and the donkey racks his brains to try to think os something that might impress the racehorse. In a flash of inspiration he purchases a huge framed photograph of a zebra and places it on the wall above the dining table. They have dinner, and all evening the horse keeps glancing at the zebra picture. Eventually his curiosity gets the better of him and he asks the donkey what it is. “Oh, that” replies the donkey nonchalantly. “That’s me when I used to play for Juventus!”

Made me chuckle.

But just to be pedantic, you can't win the oaks and the Derby, it's a bits thing


Might as well finish with one as well.


A duck is at the side of the road about to cross, a chicken is walking by at the same time, says to the duck wouldn't bother doing that mate.

Why not says the duck.


You'll never hear the end of it 😜

comment by Igør Rampard (U1993)

But just to be pedantic, you can't win the oaks and the Derby, it's a bits thing
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Beat me to it Igor.

Just exactly what sort of a medic are you Vidal?

FFS.

I leaned today that there is a type of dog called a Chinese Crested Powderpuff. What hope is there for anything?

comment by ScouseRam (U9675)
posted 8 minutes ago
comment by Igør Rampard (U1993)

But just to be pedantic, you can't win the oaks and the Derby, it's a bits thing
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Beat me to it Igor.

Just exactly what sort of a medic are you Vidal?
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Just glad he's not a nuts one.

It's so close to 700 comments.

I've been waiting for fresh posts as it's been annoying me for the past 34 hours.

But it appears the thread has died. So in the interests of saving my sanity........

700.

Ahhhhhhhh that's better.