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9th???

The press needs shooting

I read this whole article before realising it was one of those Fantasy league thingys

^It sounds realistic dosen't

New Manchester City manager Tranquil Chaos has confirmed that he is looking to let several fringe players leave the club "for both parties, we feel the best solution is for fringe players to move elsewhere in search of first team football", players rumoured to be on the way out include Wayne Bridge, Stefan Savic and Vladimir Weiss

You can clearly see that this is a Unrealistic League Hodgey

Had no idea where to put everyone so thought I'd mix it up a bit. There's no way I'm finishing 6th.

The Spurs fans need not be worried. I can indeed confirm that I shall be heading to Spain early next week for talks with a big name centre forward.

I shall also be looking closer to home to bring in two further signings.

Whilst talks with Ajax and FC Twente continue.

Good man.

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Updated.

Everton manager Rooney has insisted he will purchase with caution and only seek to bring in those players to the club who represent real value for money. He stressed were in no rush to buy, we will evaluate all possible avenues and targets before we delve into the market. Ending with .. We will at all costs refrain from spending silly amounts of cash and invest wisely.

With players like Stewart Downing, Charlie Adam and Andrew Carroll we are aiming for the top. We will of course look to add to the squad with some more quality British players, and will be looking for signing advice from fellow Scots Kenny Dalglish and Alex McLeish.

Stoke decide to cut down on their wage bill, key players Pennant, Woodgate and Fuller among those likely to leave.

Also, Goal.com suggests Messi was seen in and around the Stoke estate agents!

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In breaking new news! Stoke decide to build a nation wide umbrella to tempt Messi in!

Manchester Utd F.C Continue their heavy investment in the transfer market, making a bid to land Liverpool Duo Coates and Kelly, as well as young Spanish talent Suso, for a part exchange featuring Ferdinand plus a whopping £8m package. Manchester Utd will also Like to Confirm that we have sold Javier Hernandez to Newcastle Utd, in a deal believed to be around £17m

I can announce big changes at White Hart Lane this season.

I personally spoke to many fans outside our historic ground on Friday morning, and many did have concerns that we had become a selling club with Bale, Modric, Van der Vaart, Parker and many others leaving us.

I did my uptmost to reassure them that the signings that Tottenham Hotspur would be making following these sales would enhance this glorious football club, and make each and everyone of them excited about the future.

Today at White Hart Lane; Andy Carroll, Adam Johnson, Leighton Baines, Phil Jones, Chris Smalling, Joe Cole, Clint Dempsey, Brede Hangeland, Barry Bannon, Gabriel Agbonlahor, Sebastian Larsson and Anders Lindegaard will be unveiled to the fans.

I will right now assure fans that Huddlestone, Walker, Livermore, Rose and Townsend are not for sale, and will all play a vital part in this clubs future.

Whilst Ledley King will remain overall Club Captain, Phil Jones will be given the armband when Ledley is not in the starting line up.

Phil has the uptmost respect for Ledley's loyalties to Spurs, whilst Ledley understands that he will not be selected for every match.

Ledley King will remain at Tottenham Hotspur for the remaining years of his careers + a future at the club beyond his playing days is also now offered to him.

On a lighter note, Tottenham Hotspur will be hitting the pop charts again soon as Andy Carroll featuring Lindegaard will be releasing a tongue in cheek cover of 'Fog on the Tyne'. Our Geordie lad has taken a real hit by fans and media alike this past year, but at Tottenham Hotspur he will with not just his goals but contribution to the whole club go on I am sure to be one of the club's all time greats.

Joe Cole and Adam Johnson are amongst those delighted at the opportunity to light up the Lane.

These are exciting times for the fans and everyone associated with the club.

On a side note, whilst no more transfers in the domestic market are expected. As soon as the foreign market lights up I will be targeting 2/3 additional players whom I believe will strengthen our squad further.

Updated.

Nice

Stoke spend yet more money as the aim to try and rid themselves of the 'long ball' tactics of yesteryear.

Signings like Krancjar, Fellaini, Coleman and Defoe should help to bring a new attacking flair about the side, and alongside Crouch and Walters should give Stoke a brilliant chance of upsetting the traditional footballing elites.

They're not too bad at the back either! Strong goalkeeper Begovic looks set to retain the number 1 shirt, whilst Johnny Evans, Coleman and Wayne Bridge all look set to add security to the already strong partnership of Shawcross and Huth.

Stoke would also like to usher people to their newly updated team page, with easy viewing For Sale signs and updated positioning.

Breaking News:

Mass exodus at Everton as fans call for Rooney to resign ..

Everton manager Rooney has today decided to offload a string of players as he looks to re-build his side. A number of players were shown the exit door including the likes of M.Fellaini and N.Jelavic amongst promising youngsters such as M.Gueye and Ross Barkely. He insisted this is the start of something new however the fans argued otherwise as they protested in rage outside the stadium equipped with "Rooney out" banners demanding answers to their questions and calling for the gaffer to call it a day despite it being less than a week of him being in charge.

Rooney, I feel sorry for you

Those Everton fans are horrible, just like in real life