YES FFS

http://youtu.be/HsL1E_-kr2Q

Don't care

http://youtu.be/v-MhfGqNbhw

Those are the extended highlights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbgW6jXFGuA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRBoTcHOzOU

Da fook is that midget

Atletico vs. PSG. Good chances for both sides in the early stages but he takes a 2-0 lead through Lavezzi. Falcao gets two of his own to bring it back to 2-2 at HT, then after the break he completes his hat-trick and Costa makes it 4-2. Lavezzi gets his and PSG's third, Koke hits the post and it ends 4-3 to us.

Arsenal 2-2 PSG. Could've gone either way even though he had more shots. Ibra beat Mert in the air to head them in front, but Poldi came off the bench and instantly scored twice to turn it around, second was brilliant, across goal and into the top right. Ibra salvaged a draw with a rebound late on.

Hi der

Unlucky to lose 3-2 to Galatasaray with Benfica. Lima and Salvio with nice goals for us.

Us.

401 followers

World class. Would be 4001 if you did brackets.

Would be 40001 if you shut up

Except it wouldn't because then we wouldn't have so many tweets. Common sense please.

Porto 1-0 Napoli. Jackson Martinez with the early goal. Porto are so well balanced, Martinez probably my favourite player. Napoli changed from their home to away kit in the 86th minute when we made subs.

Milan vs. Dortmund. Balotelli put us ahead with a dainty chip across the keeper, then made it 2-0 with an easy header. Di Sciglio got forward and made use of his 5* weak foot to make it 3-0.

After the break Abate slotted in to make it 4-0, Schmelzer was lucky not to be sent off for bringing down El Shaarawy and Montolivo hit the bar with the free kick. Balotelli shot wide, nicked in from the goal kick but his chip was saved. He quit.

Valencia 0-0 Dortmund. Lots of slide tackles. A few half-chances for both teams, Jonas came closest for me in the first half when Weidenfeller just got enough on his shot to direct it onto the post. Lewandowski put it wide when 1-on-1, Rami got sent off for a mistimed slide, Alves made a good double save.

Two games left, need 1 point for promotion to D1, 4 points for the title.

Leverkusen vs. Schalke. Farfan gave him an early lead but that was his best chance, I dominated after that. Took until just before half time for Schuerrle to score an unstoppable free kick, curled into the very top left corner. More domination in the second half, he occasionally tried to counter but with no luck. With a few minutes left Schuerrle got his second with a powerful shot from outside the box, and Kiessling grabbed a diving header to make it 3-1 in injury time. Promotion secured, 1 point needed for the title.

Arsenal 1-1 Chelsea to secure the title. Gave away a stupid opener, gave the ball away from a throw in which lead to Torres heading in. A nice counter saw Walcott stay just onside then square for Santi to equalise. Rosicky had a great chance in the second half but his volley from 6 yards was too close to Cech, and Oscar put an effort wide from close range.

First D1 match, Villa vs. Rennais. Pitroipa got on the end of a cross to volley Rennais ahead, but El Ahmadi's half volley took a deflection off a defender's head to beat the keeper. 1-1 a fair result.

Everton vs. Palermo. Didn't start well for them as Barreto was sent off for a late challenge. We dominated, Fellaini had a shot saved onto the bar, and Sorrentino denied Jelavic.

Our domination paid off in the second half, as Jelavic finished with an ice-cool chip. He then adjusted his body well to fire in an accurate volley across goal, into the bottom left corner to seal victory, despite Ilicic's late consolation. Everton are great for a 4* team.

Dortmund v Arsenal

Fabianski
Sagna - Mertesacker - Koscielny - Gibbs
Diaby - Ramsey - Rosicky
Walcott - Giroud - Cazorla

Cazorla 7'
Giroud 50'
Gotze 70'

What was with that game? It was like UT, I hammered him but lost 6-1 because my defenders and midfield were too slow. He was Southampton, I was Nuernberg. His first three goals were identical, all crosses and the defenders decide not to do anything even though I'm hammering circle, Puncheon with the first, Lambert with the next two. Kiyotake pulled one back for us but Lambert got two more in the second half either side of Ramirez's goal. Crazy chit, a draw would've been a generous result to him and I've lost by 5 goals.