knock knock
who's there
john, im returning a phone that somefúckstick left in my taxi
feckstick
I've never been called that before. On Valentine's Day as well
well, i am a sensitive guy
Knox Knox,
Who's there?
Interpol...
Topical, that one.
To be read in an Aussie accent
Australian DJ, Disco Dave was doing his breakfast show.
"G'day listeners, today I want you to call in with unusual 3 letter words. All you gotta do is tell me your word, spell it, and put it in a sentence for me"
"So we'll go straight to the phones and see if we can get ourselves a winner"
"Listener on line 1 you're talking to Dave, what's your word?"
"G'day Dave, my word is gan."
"Gan?? Okay, and can you spell it for me listener?"
"yes G-A-N"
"very good, and can you put it in a sentence for me listener?"
"Yes. Gan fack yourself"
(line goes dead)
"Wow, wow wow stone the crows this is a family show listeners I must apologise for that drongo"
"Remember listeners keep it clean"
"G'day line 2 can we have your 3-letter word?"
"G'day Dave, my 3-letter word is sme"
"Sme?? That's certainly unusual. Can you spell it?"
"Yes Dave, it's S-M-E"
"Good listener, now can you put it in a sentence for me"
Sme again Dave gan fack yourself!!
comment by meltonblue (U10617)
posted 2 minutes ago
Knox Knox,
Who's there?
Interpol...
Topical, that one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a new favourite joke -
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face.
comment by Jay - The new Robb is Dunc. (U16498)
posted 1 second ago
comment by meltonblue (U10617)
posted 2 minutes ago
Knox Knox,
Who's there?
Interpol...
Topical, that one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a new favourite joke -
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
hahaha that is quality
Dunap who?
Only just got it....
Roses are brown
Violets are brown
Stop $hitting in my garden
Bought a litre of Tipp-ex yesterday. Big mistake...
comment by meltonblue (U10617)
posted 56 seconds ago
Bought a litre of Tipp-ex yesterday. Big mistake...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sh@ggy: "Who knows the abbreviation for Rhinocerous?"
Scooby: "Rhino"
Sh@ggy: "Ok, what is it Scoob...?"
Guy went into a delicatessen,saw a large salami in the display counter,i will take that one.
Shopkeeper would you like it sliced.
Customer,what you think my rse is a money box.
Just found out that my mates been diagnosed as a mute, fook me he kept that one quiet...
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 19 seconds ago
don't get of these jokes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not surprised with sentences like that
I do not get the dunap one
comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by ValenciaY (U9868)
posted 45 seconds ago
Just found out that my mates been diagnosed as a mute, fook me he kept that one quiet...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
i get this one but it aint funny though
----------------------------------------------------------------------
single then?
Dunap Who...
When you say it fast, it sounds like "Done a poo"
comment by ManUtdDaredevil (U9612)
posted 1 minute ago
I do not get the dunap one
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dunap who = Done a poo
It's the oldest joke I know
Chinese takeaway £14
Petrol to pick it up £2
Getting home and realising the tw@ts have forgotten one of your containers?
Riceless.
Sign in if you want to comment
Joke of the Day
Page 1 of 4
posted on 14/2/14
i dodnt get it
posted on 14/2/14
knock knock
who's there
john, im returning a phone that somefúckstick left in my taxi
posted on 14/2/14
feckstick
I've never been called that before. On Valentine's Day as well
posted on 14/2/14
well, i am a sensitive guy
posted on 14/2/14
Que?
posted on 14/2/14
Knox Knox,
Who's there?
Interpol...
Topical, that one.
posted on 14/2/14
To be read in an Aussie accent
Australian DJ, Disco Dave was doing his breakfast show.
"G'day listeners, today I want you to call in with unusual 3 letter words. All you gotta do is tell me your word, spell it, and put it in a sentence for me"
"So we'll go straight to the phones and see if we can get ourselves a winner"
"Listener on line 1 you're talking to Dave, what's your word?"
"G'day Dave, my word is gan."
"Gan?? Okay, and can you spell it for me listener?"
"yes G-A-N"
"very good, and can you put it in a sentence for me listener?"
"Yes. Gan fack yourself"
(line goes dead)
"Wow, wow wow stone the crows this is a family show listeners I must apologise for that drongo"
"Remember listeners keep it clean"
"G'day line 2 can we have your 3-letter word?"
"G'day Dave, my 3-letter word is sme"
"Sme?? That's certainly unusual. Can you spell it?"
"Yes Dave, it's S-M-E"
"Good listener, now can you put it in a sentence for me"
Sme again Dave gan fack yourself!!
posted on 14/2/14
comment by meltonblue (U10617)
posted 2 minutes ago
Knox Knox,
Who's there?
Interpol...
Topical, that one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a new favourite joke -
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face.
posted on 14/2/14
comment by Jay - The new Robb is Dunc. (U16498)
posted 1 second ago
comment by meltonblue (U10617)
posted 2 minutes ago
Knox Knox,
Who's there?
Interpol...
Topical, that one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a new favourite joke -
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
hahaha that is quality
posted on 14/2/14
Dunap who?
Only just got it....
posted on 14/2/14
Roses are brown
Violets are brown
Stop $hitting in my garden
posted on 14/2/14
Bought a litre of Tipp-ex yesterday. Big mistake...
posted on 14/2/14
comment by meltonblue (U10617)
posted 56 seconds ago
Bought a litre of Tipp-ex yesterday. Big mistake...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
posted on 14/2/14
Sh@ggy: "Who knows the abbreviation for Rhinocerous?"
Scooby: "Rhino"
Sh@ggy: "Ok, what is it Scoob...?"
posted on 14/2/14
posted on 14/2/14
Guy went into a delicatessen,saw a large salami in the display counter,i will take that one.
Shopkeeper would you like it sliced.
Customer,what you think my rse is a money box.
posted on 14/2/14
Just found out that my mates been diagnosed as a mute, fook me he kept that one quiet...
posted on 14/2/14
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 14/2/14
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 14/2/14
comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 19 seconds ago
don't get of these jokes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not surprised with sentences like that
posted on 14/2/14
I do not get the dunap one
posted on 14/2/14
comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by ValenciaY (U9868)
posted 45 seconds ago
Just found out that my mates been diagnosed as a mute, fook me he kept that one quiet...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
i get this one but it aint funny though
----------------------------------------------------------------------
single then?
posted on 14/2/14
Dunap Who...
When you say it fast, it sounds like "Done a poo"
posted on 14/2/14
comment by ManUtdDaredevil (U9612)
posted 1 minute ago
I do not get the dunap one
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dunap who = Done a poo
It's the oldest joke I know
posted on 14/2/14
Chinese takeaway £14
Petrol to pick it up £2
Getting home and realising the tw@ts have forgotten one of your containers?
Riceless.
Page 1 of 4