What time did the Chinese man go the dentist?

Tooth Hurty

I've heard the tip-ex one before but forgot the pun? Someone explain please

Massive mistake - large tippex

I'm a idiot

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

Angry or what.

comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 1 minute ago
comment by Shinjisshin (U1700)
posted 11 minutes ago
comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 19 seconds ago
don't get of these jokes
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Not surprised with sentences like that
----------------------------------------what's wrong with the sentence, i missed out any so f'ing what, your brain's not clever enough to add it? what a pri ck ------------------------------

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You a girl?

How you doin

angry bird

I'm assuming she hasn't got a valentines?

goonerbabe

you never responded to me re me offer

Who said premenstrual tension don't exist.

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

So goonerbabe, how do you feel about tall, dark, handsome mancunian?

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

Some great jokes here.

Loved the Tippex one!

A man boarded an aircraft at London Heathrow Airport 's Terminal 5 for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

'Hello', he blurted out, 'Business trip or vacation?'

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, 'Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ...'

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, 'What's your business role at this convention?'

'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.'

'Really', he smiled, 'what myths are those?'

'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.

We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.'

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. 'I'm sorry,' she said 'I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!'

'Tonto,' the man said. 'Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.'

comment by Goonerbabe (U11922)
posted 1 minute ago
sorry Shinji, i've ruined your thread.
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It's a strong thread, it will hold

Some people are a bit like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you can't help yourself smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

"Sorry Sir, we don't serve your sort here"

"A pint of beer please"

* Time traveller walks into a bar *

wow, so many people cracking onto a babe, who's probably a bloke on a footy forum

I went to a disco the other night and the DJ kept on playing "House of Fun" over and over again for hours.

I thought to myself this is madness...

I was at a party last night, and the DJ played "Sit Down" So we all sat down!
He then played "Jump Around." So we all jumped around!
Then he put on "Come On Eileen"... I got thrown out.

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.

A human hair can hold 3kg.

The length of a pénis is 3 times the length of the thumb.

The femur is as hard as concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

Women blink 2x as much as men.

We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.



A woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb.