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A tough read

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comment by Mattyp (U8926)

posted on 18/5/20

Yeah, I remember there been an "ugly things" calendar and December been the lad.

I watched the programme piece on it, and personally while I found Hancocks contrition to be welcome it really did seem to me to be forced and had he not been put under the spotlight on it I dont know if he would he have apologised.

Him and Lineker seem to be apologising to save face rather than actually being sorry, Lineker doing a half line tweet so its nice and public so everyone can know just how sorry he is.

God I'm so glad that ladish culture that this is an example of is seen as a thing of the past.`

posted on 18/5/20

comment by Mattyp (U8926)
posted 24 minutes ago
Yeah, I remember there been an "ugly things" calendar and December been the lad.

I watched the programme piece on it, and personally while I found Hancocks contrition to be welcome it really did seem to me to be forced and had he not been put under the spotlight on it I dont know if he would he have apologised.

Him and Lineker seem to be apologising to save face rather than actually being sorry, Lineker doing a half line tweet so its nice and public so everyone can know just how sorry he is.

God I'm so glad that ladish culture that this is an example of is seen as a thing of the past.`
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Is it?

I suspect bullying is just as rife in school and I’m sure that continues into early adult life for many.

posted on 18/5/20

I remember getting his large sticker for the following-

https://cartophilic-info-exch.blogspot.com/2018/02/merlin-fa-premier-league-2002-04.html

*Sorry for bypassing the seriousness of the article*

posted on 18/5/20

Why did Hancocks contrition appear forced to you Matty?

People make horrific mistakes, don’t realise it, and genuinely feel bad about it.

I’m sure there are a lot of things we have all done wrong too.

I remember taking the mick out of Chadwicks looks a lot at the time too. I would have been 10-12 years old. But still feel a bit ashamed after reading that.

Great article and brilliant attitude by Chadwick. Very well put without asking for sympathy but giving great awareness of the impact people’s actions can have on others without thinking.

We often fall for the trap that footballers are no different to us. Have the same doubts and insecurities. Have the same vulnerability.

A good crowd must make a huge difference to a bad crowd to the players level of performance.

posted on 18/5/20

With internet & social media this stuff is nothing like in the past.

It’s a strong & sobering lesson on thinking more about behaviour towards others.

posted on 18/5/20

As a teenager I wasn't the prettiest and whilst I have grown into my face there was a time when I got a lot of abuse. I recall I was in a pub on a quiet night when the landlord decided it would be fun to abuse me all evening about my looks. I know how much psychological harm that did to me and that was one guy in front of a small audience. I think in Luke's place it would have destroyed me.

comment by Mattyp (U8926)

posted on 19/5/20


Is it?

I suspect bullying is just as rife in school and I’m sure that continues into early adult life for many.
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I'd say so.

I'm not saying bullying dosent exist today, lord knows the amount of my working day having to deal with that crap.

However, its much harder to see this sort of thing flying today, if they did this on shows today there would be far more of a backlash against it as people are far, far more aware of the impact that this sort of thing has and mental wellbeing is far more on the front of everything.

People mock things like "cancel culture", however all cancel culture is, is another way of saying/showing that people are being held accountable for their actions.

Look at soccer am, that show is a perfect example of one which over time has had to adapt over time, the stuff they did "back in the day" has had to be ditched.

Is it perfect... nah... is it better... yeah

Faith - hard to say, just comes across that way, maybe I'm being harsh, but it's just how I see it.

posted on 19/5/20

Bullying is rife in today's society and at all levels. Social media is awash with the idiots as we all know. In my normal "job" we have several, weeding them out and dealing with them is difficult and problematic but we will prevail!

I'm more conscious of mental health issues nowadays and sympathise greatly with the likes of Luke Chadwick. I have been guilty myself of taking the pi55 out of others for the way they look and for that I apologise. No excuse, just ignorance on my part.

comment by Stoopo (U4707)

posted on 19/5/20

Some jokes are funny but leave scars I guess.

My sons mate’s mum always told him never to get his ear pierced because it would bring attention to his face. He still brings it up and it always gets a laugh.

I was bullied as a youngster for having big ears. It hurt until I used a defence mechanism - I cracked the jokes first.

On occasions though I just kicked the crap out of them.

comment by NJS (U8272)

posted on 19/5/20

I don't want most of the above posters to be the manager/coach of my team...the best teams have members who are 'bullies', that is quite a sweeping term for players or coaches who have dominant traits, passionate traits to win...examine successful teams with players who all have various personality and character assets and flaws...I would want my team to have a few 'bullies' in there dominating the 'socialists' who want sameness and equality for everyone and not to hurt anyones feelings!
Football and life in general have any number of bullies, it's a natural human characteristic, been around since Noah built his ark!

posted on 19/5/20

Comment deleted by Site Moderator

posted on 19/5/20

After reading the comments my over-riding conclusion is that I’m too pretty for this forum

And on a more serious note. Good on Chadwick for bringing this up because it will be opening old wounds for him. I’m not sure I’ve ever mocked anyone, with malicious intent, for their looks but I have an acidic tongue and a sense of banter that has regularly crossed the line. I’ve no doubt looking back that I’ve made comments that will have impacted others unnecessarily. You can be a bully consciously or unconsciously.

At my age and circumstances, I still make mistakes, but I’ve a better understanding of mental health issues and how wide spread they are than I used to. It’s like society’s last taboo and the more people are open about it, the more it helps get rid of the ‘man up’ attitude that helps no one.

comment by NJS (U8272)

posted on 19/5/20

I think men should 'man up' they should take the bullets for their womenfolk and children and they do in wars, the last thing society should want is to have the male species emasculated.
What's wrong with 'ladish' behaviour is it not the equivalent of 'girlish' behaviour? Why does society want to change the natural order of males and females, is this another example of political correctness gone too far?
Women, in my experience make more insulting personal remarks about peoples looks and behaviour than men...is this sort of behaviour just the natural state of how we interact with each other...you can't change male and females characteristics just to please the pc ...some people are more diplomatic and some more tactless, fact of life. I wouldn't bother trying to change it.

posted on 19/5/20

I remember Chadwick taking a lot of stick, but today society/way of life has changed!..

Look at how it was with same ""x partnerships, they took stick for their way of life, and that was bad around the time Chadwick was getting stick, but life is coming to terms with that part of life!..

Chadwick took a hell of a lot of stick, but that goes down to the way it was, people made money out of taking peoples lives and ripping it a new one, TV got away with it while making money and let it do the damage it has done!..

Today the TV is more controlled and put into place when out of line, these days people only need to complain!..

With Mental Health and stress, this has been brought more into the limelight and found to be a killer, and because of that you've got people coming out and letting people know what its like!..

Nothing to do with Manning up, its more to do with people needing help and society is now realising it has to do something!..

All the bast to Chadwick!.

And anyone that thinks they need help they shouldn't think to long!..

Ffs admin, tried 2 words that are everyday words and couldn't write what I wanted!..

Se"x and G"ays!..

Sometimes control can be overdone!..

posted on 19/5/20

I don't want most of the above posters to be the manager/coach of my team...the best teams have members who are 'bullies', that is quite a sweeping term for players or coaches who have dominant traits, passionate traits to win...examine successful teams with players who all have various personality and character assets and flaws...I would want my team to have a few 'bullies' in there dominating the 'socialists' who want sameness and equality for everyone and not to hurt anyones feelings!
Football and life in general have any number of bullies, it's a natural human characteristic, been around since Noah built his ark!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

There speaks a bully making excuses or his crass treatment of his fellow man.

Tell the kid who killed himself because of bullying on social media that it's OK because it's a natural human characteristic.

You may not have caused someone to end their own life NJS but don't justify this kind of behaviour with such insensitive BS.

comment by NJS (U8272)

posted on 19/5/20

comment by Elsbels - OnOnOn (U21658)
posted 58 minutes ago
I don't want most of the above posters to be the manager/coach of my team...the best teams have members who are 'bullies', that is quite a sweeping term for players or coaches who have dominant traits, passionate traits to win...examine successful teams with players who all have various personality and character assets and flaws...I would want my team to have a few 'bullies' in there dominating the 'socialists' who want sameness and equality for everyone and not to hurt anyones feelings!
Football and life in general have any number of bullies, it's a natural human characteristic, been around since Noah built his ark!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

There speaks a bully making excuses or his crass treatment of his fellow man.

Tell the kid who killed himself because of bullying on social media that it's OK because it's a natural human characteristic.

You may not have caused someone to end their own life NJS but don't justify this kind of behaviour with such insensitive BS.
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Oh stop preening yourself that you're the social conscience of the nation, you don't have details and circumstances behind why someone on social media decide to commit suicide, your just hiding behind headlines.
You've taken my comments out of context you've made it personal when my comment was really football related...in football teams you have dominant leaders that quite often bully other players, you can't have a team who are easily offended by offensive or insulting comments that make them want to commit suicide!

Listen Flower don't call me a bully now get back to your socialist manifesto and return to your constituency.

,

,

comment by Mattyp (U8926)

posted on 19/5/20

Nah, I think personally I'll call you what I like cause I'm in no way intimidated by you, you want to try and be a big man on the internet, it just dosent work though does it really?

So yeah, people like you, telling people what to do, it really dosent work.

You want to try and bully people to "get back in their lane" and every more its not flying.

I get why people like you want to bully on the internet, I really do, you can't do it anymore in the real world without consequences, so you scream about political correctness and retreat to being faceless trolls on the net.

comment by NJS (U8272)

posted on 19/5/20

comment by Mattyp (U8926)
posted 14 minutes ago
Nah, I think personally I'll call you what I like cause I'm in no way intimidated by you, you want to try and be a big man on the internet, it just dosent work though does it really?

So yeah, people like you, telling people what to do, it really dosent work.

You want to try and bully people to "get back in their lane" and every more its not flying.

I get why people like you want to bully on the internet, I really do, you can't do it anymore in the real world without consequences, so you scream about political correctness and retreat to being faceless trolls on the net.
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Have you been drinking or reading those 'do it yourself psychiatry books' again? 😀

posted on 19/5/20

I would say Don Revie's team was built on fear, intimidation & to a certain extent a form of bullying, I'm sure other teams adopt the same approach, to instill a winning mentality whatever the cost.

posted on 19/5/20

Yeah these people deserved it because they were weak NJS didn't they (https://www.theclever.com/15-shocking-cases-of-cyberbullying-that-led-to-suicide/), and Chadwick deserved it as well co it's a man's game. People like you really make me despair.

comment by NJS (U8272)

posted on 19/5/20

comment by Elsbels - OnOnOn (U21658)
posted 2 minutes ago
Yeah these people deserved it because they were weak NJS didn't they (https://www.theclever.com/15-shocking-cases-of-cyberbullying-that-led-to-suicide/), and Chadwick deserved it as well co it's a man's game. People like you really make me despair.
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Oh shut up yer fool or else I will send my minders around! All this is because I debunked your strange ideas of comparing Scotland favourably against England with ref to covidvirus deaths....you were ignorant of the fact that Scotland doesn't even have the population of London, a scale of difference you were oblivious of.

posted on 19/5/20

I started to like you NJS

Can’t tell if your taking the pis or not though

posted on 19/5/20

NJS made some valid points imo. Bullies should be eradicated and nobody deserves stick for there appearance, something mostly out of there control. But, masculinity is a dying trait nowadays, men should at times still roll there sleeves up and toughen up. Not a believer that we should be emasculated. I've winded a few people over the years playing mens football who used to give me stick about my deep voice as a child.

posted on 20/5/20

I think some are choosing to be a bit offended by the comments from NJS. There's differing generations at play I suspect, so it's understandable, views and tolerances are much different now. The worlds a much different place now, for the most part i'm glad. However just because someone has a differing view on life, it seems to mean they need to be subjected to a tirade, or some sort of shaming for having that view. That's a form of bullying right there, especially if being done in the open and with an audience.

Ex-military, like others on here, what we viewed as discipline i'm sure by some would be viewed as bullying. In some instances it was, but for the most part it was what was needed. I'm sure I was singled out from time to time in training for my appearance, in fact I know I was - although not repeatedly on national TV - so a huge difference. I'm sure I probably had a chuckle at the time about Chadwick, well he played for Man U, so it was acceptable would have been my justification, like many many others. But on reflection and with the addition of experience and maturity, it was wrong, very wrong. Would I laugh and condone it now, definitely not.

posted on 20/5/20

I think there's a fine line. I was reading an interview with Andy Robertson recently, and he said the reason that he loves Jürgen Klopp is because he knows he has to be different to each of his players. It isn't about just being a dominant presence, it's about knowing which players need that, and which players need a different approach. There will be people who benefit from.such an approach, that doesn't mean that everyone in football should adopt that approach because it's a "man's game".

What that doesn't mean is that fans, pundits etc should be allowed to use the media/social media as a way to do the same. At that point it becomes bullying. You don't know the person, you're just out to try and make someone feel bad. It's all well and good being behind a keyboard trying to justify this, but if, one day, your "toughen up" approach causes someone to try and take their life then I wonder if you'd think differently.

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