I will probably end up leaving and looking for somewhere else to live. I facking hate my home life
I feel like committing suicide at the moment
very good points on this thread especially on setting clear boundaries and consistency
One thing I have not seen or missed is making the kids involved in the boundary setting process. Discuss the expectations , why they exist, consequences/rewards and listen and address the pushbacks at this stage so it does not reoccur
and set a review date like end of term/year
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
comment by palmers_spur (U8896)
posted 6 minutes ago
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry to hear that palmer’s and am glad you’re feeling better
Never let work get you down or depress/stress you. It’s only a job and you are just a number that is written in pencil so it’s easy to rub out
comment by palmers_spur (U8896)
posted 5 minutes ago
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Top advice from palmers this
I had similar spell straight after 1st lockdown
Badly busted leg and other injuries and no nhs to help me
Then got made redundant
Was very low and suffered with chronic stress (don’t ever down play what stress can do to you especially if it goes on for a lengthy period)
Similar to palmers got a job but freaked out and left within a week
Took me ages to get the courage back up to get another job and felt like it was all going wrong again but preserved and I’m settled and things turning round again
Don’t suffer in silence like I did you just make things worse , sort the stress out and things fall into place again
Chin up dude (which is easier said than done ! I know!)
and someone mentioned earlier about girls being more challenging
this should not be underestimated. Girls are generally more social at an ealy age and many quickly learn how to get their ways.
So it is very natural for them to see you as the monster for not letting them get their ways. It is painful as a parent but doing the right thing is often not easy
hanging there bro cos I would need tips from you in the future when mine gets older
And if all else fails a night in the garden shed will sort them out followed by a daily thrashing
I’m here all week for parenting tips folks
I’m only joking before anyone gets their silkys in a twist
comment by Irishred (U2539)
posted 15 minutes ago
comment by palmers_spur (U8896)
posted 6 minutes ago
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry to hear that palmer’s and am glad you’re feeling better
Never let work get you down or depress/stress you. It’s only a job and you are just a number that is written in pencil so it’s easy to rub out
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Irish
Thanks pal. Yeah I found that out the hard way haha
We all have our wobbles at some point though!
Hope you’re well
My son is approaching 18 months old and generally he's good as gold, we tend to go with what makes it easiest for us and him but we keep him in a strict routine with sleep and food time and he's always slept and ate well (he actually sleeps almost solidly from 7pm to 6am with the midday nap in-between. In terms of screen time we actually tend to give him screen time whenever were feeding him, he doesn't scream or cry for the TV to be on but he's a little bit easier to feed when Cbeebies is on. I think for young ones the trick is definitely establishing a routine right from the start and absolutely sticking by it, and their sleep and hungry cycles are easy to manage and plan your life around.
When my son is having his food slightly late or his naps/sleeps are off then that's the only time he throws a tantrum or is crying.
Based on my experience as a dad so far I presume that establishing routines for other things like phone TV and internet time later on in life will stop your children from turning into absolute monsters, because it certainly works at the moment!
comment by Christ We Won (TENΖκ) (U17162)
posted 17 minutes ago
My son is approaching 18 months old and generally he's good as gold, we tend to go with what makes it easiest for us and him but we keep him in a strict routine with sleep and food time and he's always slept and ate well (he actually sleeps almost solidly from 7pm to 6am with the midday nap in-between. In terms of screen time we actually tend to give him screen time whenever were feeding him, he doesn't scream or cry for the TV to be on but he's a little bit easier to feed when Cbeebies is on. I think for young ones the trick is definitely establishing a routine right from the start and absolutely sticking by it, and their sleep and hungry cycles are easy to manage and plan your life around.
When my son is having his food slightly late or his naps/sleeps are off then that's the only time he throws a tantrum or is crying.
Based on my experience as a dad so far I presume that establishing routines for other things like phone TV and internet time later on in life will stop your children from turning into absolute monsters, because it certainly works at the moment!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Delay buying a phone for your child as long as you can.
Just worry about them eating their dinner before getting any ice cream <lol>
Anyway, is a kid using their phone after 9 that bad?
We used to stay up late and watch TV. Phones are like their version of that.
As long as they've done their homework and chores and stuff, right?
comment by N2 (U22280)
posted 24 minutes ago
Anyway, is a kid using their phone after 9 that bad?
We used to stay up late and watch TV. Phones are like their version of that.
As long as they've done their homework and chores and stuff, right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The damage caused to children from prolonged use of mobile phones is well known. Both medically and psychologically.
In regard to use before bed, the scientific consensus urges to cease using a mobile about 30mins before sleep. As the screen stimulates your brain and delays REM sleep. This is exacerbated in children who require more REM sleep than adults.
The radiation/light emitted by a mobile phone also confuses your brain into thinking it's still daytime. And also adversely impacts the hormones responsible for controlling your sleep cycle.
https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/190011/screen-time-before-puts-children-risk/
comment by HarlequinHebdo (U16981)
posted 5 hours, 5 minutes ago
comment by Fik Tossa (U22768)
posted 3 minutes ago
Deep down, I am not really suited for parenthood or married/family life
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You're just a FikTossa !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry mate you chose the name not me !
and maybe show a bit of affection to those at home more often, it might help you .
OP my daughter hasn’t reached the ages mentioned yet in your article.
Mrs is a health visitor and is adamant our 1y/o daughter isn’t allowed to watch tv at this age.
I can only imagine the hurdles further down the road. Hope you manage to navigate the issues you outlined in the article. Parenting can be a minefield.
Try the family link app, you can limit screen time and set times that the phone locks and unlocks. Once they've been on the phone for the amount of time you set the limit for locks it automatically and starts locked until the next day, you can set it so they have to ask permission for any app so you know what they are downloading (there's an app on the parents phone as well that controls it).
I know from first hand experience get on top of it, my kids are on the app and know when it is off it is off (unless I give them extra on it for good behaviour/helping out etc.). My other half has had no limits on her eldest (same age as my eldest) and they are unruly about their phone, they HAVE TO HAVE IT OR THEY CAN'T SLEEP!
comment by What would Stuart Pearce do? Who do you think you are kidding Mr.... (U3126)
posted 47 minutes ago
comment by N2 (U22280)
posted 24 minutes ago
Anyway, is a kid using their phone after 9 that bad?
We used to stay up late and watch TV. Phones are like their version of that.
As long as they've done their homework and chores and stuff, right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The damage caused to children from prolonged use of mobile phones is well known. Both medically and psychologically.
In regard to use before bed, the scientific consensus urges to cease using a mobile about 30mins before sleep. As the screen stimulates your brain and delays REM sleep. This is exacerbated in children who require more REM sleep than adults.
The radiation/light emitted by a mobile phone also confuses your brain into thinking it's still daytime. And also adversely impacts the hormones responsible for controlling your sleep cycle.
https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/190011/screen-time-before-puts-children-risk/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Depends on what time you go to bed then.
Not sure how serious you were with your comment about feeling like committing suicide at the moment OP, but tbh anyone who says that has to be at least genuinely finding things hard. I'm really sorry to hear, but there is a better way.
I'd recommend reading this, and substituting the American numbers etc... at the end for British ones, assuming you're British: https://www.gotquestions.org/why-not-commit-suicide.html
comment by Fik Tossa (U22768)
posted 7 hours, 44 minutes ago
I will probably end up leaving and looking for somewhere else to live. I facking hate my home life
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Count your blessings, write a list of 10 things you are thankful everyday and go over them. You will see life isn't that bad after all.
That’s so sweet PP, fair play girl
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
And yet you get voted for that end of year comp.
Just shows people don't take into account what some are actually going through, just because they are willing to voice their opinion above the parapet.
Our kids are mid late 30's now - so phones weren't a problem..but our lad was obsessed with gameboy & we had to restrict that for his eyesight if nothing else...
We have friends that had & still have mares with kids...we feel very fortunate that both of ours have turned out to be something to be pretty proud of....but it starts early with solid boundaries I have to say
I have glaucoma. I have had eye ops to reduce the pressure of the eyes. This is another thing I want to delay in my daughter as well. It may well be hereditary and she could be fine. I had glasses at an early age. She does not yet. I still think screen usage is a contributing factor
Don't forget Tossa, plenty of love and affection for your daughter,it will pay dividends.
Sign in if you want to comment
Limiting screen time for kids
Page 4 of 5
posted on 19/11/22
I will probably end up leaving and looking for somewhere else to live. I facking hate my home life
posted on 19/11/22
I feel like committing suicide at the moment
posted on 19/11/22
very good points on this thread especially on setting clear boundaries and consistency
One thing I have not seen or missed is making the kids involved in the boundary setting process. Discuss the expectations , why they exist, consequences/rewards and listen and address the pushbacks at this stage so it does not reoccur
and set a review date like end of term/year
posted on 19/11/22
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
posted on 19/11/22
comment by palmers_spur (U8896)
posted 6 minutes ago
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry to hear that palmer’s and am glad you’re feeling better
Never let work get you down or depress/stress you. It’s only a job and you are just a number that is written in pencil so it’s easy to rub out
posted on 19/11/22
comment by palmers_spur (U8896)
posted 5 minutes ago
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Top advice from palmers this
I had similar spell straight after 1st lockdown
Badly busted leg and other injuries and no nhs to help me
Then got made redundant
Was very low and suffered with chronic stress (don’t ever down play what stress can do to you especially if it goes on for a lengthy period)
Similar to palmers got a job but freaked out and left within a week
Took me ages to get the courage back up to get another job and felt like it was all going wrong again but preserved and I’m settled and things turning round again
Don’t suffer in silence like I did you just make things worse , sort the stress out and things fall into place again
Chin up dude (which is easier said than done ! I know!)
posted on 19/11/22
and someone mentioned earlier about girls being more challenging
this should not be underestimated. Girls are generally more social at an ealy age and many quickly learn how to get their ways.
So it is very natural for them to see you as the monster for not letting them get their ways. It is painful as a parent but doing the right thing is often not easy
hanging there bro cos I would need tips from you in the future when mine gets older
posted on 19/11/22
And if all else fails a night in the garden shed will sort them out followed by a daily thrashing
I’m here all week for parenting tips folks
I’m only joking before anyone gets their silkys in a twist
posted on 19/11/22
comment by Irishred (U2539)
posted 15 minutes ago
comment by palmers_spur (U8896)
posted 6 minutes ago
Come on mate, you don’t mean that.
I had a period last year when I was really struggling. I’d started a new job and had terrible anxiety. I actually left the job thinking that was the cause, started a new job, and the same thing happened. I just felt I wasn’t good enough at my job and that every day was an ordeal. Eventually I took some time off, let out my flat and went to live at home, got on some medication and talked to people. I feel fine now. I know my situation is different to yours now but I promise it gets better.
Reach out to people if you’re feeling down. There’s lots of help available
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry to hear that palmer’s and am glad you’re feeling better
Never let work get you down or depress/stress you. It’s only a job and you are just a number that is written in pencil so it’s easy to rub out
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Irish
Thanks pal. Yeah I found that out the hard way haha
We all have our wobbles at some point though!
Hope you’re well
posted on 19/11/22
My son is approaching 18 months old and generally he's good as gold, we tend to go with what makes it easiest for us and him but we keep him in a strict routine with sleep and food time and he's always slept and ate well (he actually sleeps almost solidly from 7pm to 6am with the midday nap in-between. In terms of screen time we actually tend to give him screen time whenever were feeding him, he doesn't scream or cry for the TV to be on but he's a little bit easier to feed when Cbeebies is on. I think for young ones the trick is definitely establishing a routine right from the start and absolutely sticking by it, and their sleep and hungry cycles are easy to manage and plan your life around.
When my son is having his food slightly late or his naps/sleeps are off then that's the only time he throws a tantrum or is crying.
Based on my experience as a dad so far I presume that establishing routines for other things like phone TV and internet time later on in life will stop your children from turning into absolute monsters, because it certainly works at the moment!
posted on 19/11/22
comment by Christ We Won (TENΖκ) (U17162)
posted 17 minutes ago
My son is approaching 18 months old and generally he's good as gold, we tend to go with what makes it easiest for us and him but we keep him in a strict routine with sleep and food time and he's always slept and ate well (he actually sleeps almost solidly from 7pm to 6am with the midday nap in-between. In terms of screen time we actually tend to give him screen time whenever were feeding him, he doesn't scream or cry for the TV to be on but he's a little bit easier to feed when Cbeebies is on. I think for young ones the trick is definitely establishing a routine right from the start and absolutely sticking by it, and their sleep and hungry cycles are easy to manage and plan your life around.
When my son is having his food slightly late or his naps/sleeps are off then that's the only time he throws a tantrum or is crying.
Based on my experience as a dad so far I presume that establishing routines for other things like phone TV and internet time later on in life will stop your children from turning into absolute monsters, because it certainly works at the moment!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Delay buying a phone for your child as long as you can.
Just worry about them eating their dinner before getting any ice cream <lol>
posted on 19/11/22
Anyway, is a kid using their phone after 9 that bad?
We used to stay up late and watch TV. Phones are like their version of that.
As long as they've done their homework and chores and stuff, right?
posted on 19/11/22
comment by N2 (U22280)
posted 24 minutes ago
Anyway, is a kid using their phone after 9 that bad?
We used to stay up late and watch TV. Phones are like their version of that.
As long as they've done their homework and chores and stuff, right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The damage caused to children from prolonged use of mobile phones is well known. Both medically and psychologically.
In regard to use before bed, the scientific consensus urges to cease using a mobile about 30mins before sleep. As the screen stimulates your brain and delays REM sleep. This is exacerbated in children who require more REM sleep than adults.
The radiation/light emitted by a mobile phone also confuses your brain into thinking it's still daytime. And also adversely impacts the hormones responsible for controlling your sleep cycle.
https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/190011/screen-time-before-puts-children-risk/
posted on 19/11/22
comment by HarlequinHebdo (U16981)
posted 5 hours, 5 minutes ago
comment by Fik Tossa (U22768)
posted 3 minutes ago
Deep down, I am not really suited for parenthood or married/family life
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You're just a FikTossa !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry mate you chose the name not me !
and maybe show a bit of affection to those at home more often, it might help you .
posted on 19/11/22
OP my daughter hasn’t reached the ages mentioned yet in your article.
Mrs is a health visitor and is adamant our 1y/o daughter isn’t allowed to watch tv at this age.
I can only imagine the hurdles further down the road. Hope you manage to navigate the issues you outlined in the article. Parenting can be a minefield.
posted on 19/11/22
Try the family link app, you can limit screen time and set times that the phone locks and unlocks. Once they've been on the phone for the amount of time you set the limit for locks it automatically and starts locked until the next day, you can set it so they have to ask permission for any app so you know what they are downloading (there's an app on the parents phone as well that controls it).
I know from first hand experience get on top of it, my kids are on the app and know when it is off it is off (unless I give them extra on it for good behaviour/helping out etc.). My other half has had no limits on her eldest (same age as my eldest) and they are unruly about their phone, they HAVE TO HAVE IT OR THEY CAN'T SLEEP!
posted on 19/11/22
comment by What would Stuart Pearce do? Who do you think you are kidding Mr.... (U3126)
posted 47 minutes ago
comment by N2 (U22280)
posted 24 minutes ago
Anyway, is a kid using their phone after 9 that bad?
We used to stay up late and watch TV. Phones are like their version of that.
As long as they've done their homework and chores and stuff, right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The damage caused to children from prolonged use of mobile phones is well known. Both medically and psychologically.
In regard to use before bed, the scientific consensus urges to cease using a mobile about 30mins before sleep. As the screen stimulates your brain and delays REM sleep. This is exacerbated in children who require more REM sleep than adults.
The radiation/light emitted by a mobile phone also confuses your brain into thinking it's still daytime. And also adversely impacts the hormones responsible for controlling your sleep cycle.
https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/190011/screen-time-before-puts-children-risk/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Depends on what time you go to bed then.
posted on 19/11/22
Not sure how serious you were with your comment about feeling like committing suicide at the moment OP, but tbh anyone who says that has to be at least genuinely finding things hard. I'm really sorry to hear, but there is a better way.
I'd recommend reading this, and substituting the American numbers etc... at the end for British ones, assuming you're British: https://www.gotquestions.org/why-not-commit-suicide.html
posted on 19/11/22
comment by Fik Tossa (U22768)
posted 7 hours, 44 minutes ago
I will probably end up leaving and looking for somewhere else to live. I facking hate my home life
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Count your blessings, write a list of 10 things you are thankful everyday and go over them. You will see life isn't that bad after all.
posted on 19/11/22
That’s so sweet PP, fair play girl
posted on 20/11/22
Comment deleted by Site Moderator
posted on 20/11/22
And yet you get voted for that end of year comp.
Just shows people don't take into account what some are actually going through, just because they are willing to voice their opinion above the parapet.
posted on 20/11/22
Our kids are mid late 30's now - so phones weren't a problem..but our lad was obsessed with gameboy & we had to restrict that for his eyesight if nothing else...
We have friends that had & still have mares with kids...we feel very fortunate that both of ours have turned out to be something to be pretty proud of....but it starts early with solid boundaries I have to say
posted on 20/11/22
I have glaucoma. I have had eye ops to reduce the pressure of the eyes. This is another thing I want to delay in my daughter as well. It may well be hereditary and she could be fine. I had glasses at an early age. She does not yet. I still think screen usage is a contributing factor
posted on 20/11/22
Don't forget Tossa, plenty of love and affection for your daughter,it will pay dividends.
Page 4 of 5