Genuinely don't believe that those girls last night freely chose that fat fkuc over me. He just fkin marched in.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWdrO4BoCu8

made a fackin chump out of thai beach boy at the beach disco last night

he goes on the podium fresh as a daisy and starts doing....fast feet !!!!

mine were like fackin LIGHTNING.

Mde him look like eric the eel

he stopped dancing after a bit and just stood there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlsBObg-1BQ

my last night there.

the dj plays out with let her go.


for some reason im sat at a table of other finnish girls.

the one sat next to me had a fella, but we was flirting a bit. she was an absolute knockout btw.

anyway. she kept pointing at me and singing along to "you let her go"

barmaid comes over and says "come on sir. it's time to go now"

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J?

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ffs. That looks so lame.

Look, we were excited by each other.

I kno from her behaviour in the kebab shop that she was already thinking of th possibility of me as a partner. And it goes without saying that I was thinking the same.

It was bloody unlucky that we never got the chance to get to know each other a bit better. And the loss of that opportunity, coupled with the ridiculously unlucky circumstances that caused it, plus the emotional cauldron that the venue was, led to my extreme response.

Btw, bearing in mind how I did feel at that moment, I'm genuinely quite proud that I restricted my outburst to kicking a table. If I'd felt that same feeling 15 years earlier, all hell would have broken loose, and I would have done something unjustified and extremely harmful to myself and that other guy, who - in spite of being a wnaker - was probably a nice guy, who didn't mean to cause any harm.

Saying that, I know full well I'm a complete emotional lightweight. Can't argue with that.

J I think your biggest issue is you think that everyone is as big a romantic as yourself. Whereas in reality people don't 'fall in love' straight away, this isn't hollywood. Especially people who are travelling aren't looking for anything serious, you should stop getting so emotionally committed and certain what they feel of you.

Bear in mind though, that

- I hadn't pulled in months/ years
- I find it very difficult for people who know me briefly to 'get me', and that most of the people I meet are transient
- I have a huge yearning to fall in love, and know that I'm running out of time to do that
- I suddenly pull a right cracker, who seems bang into me, and very likely looking for love
- the possibility of taking it further (than an initial brief meeting) is dashed in ridiculously unlucky and unlikely circumstances
- I spend the next few nights in an emotional cauldron, that reminds me of her, and tickles my emotional chip, relentlessly.

comment by Edinspur (U1109)
posted 4 minutes ago
J I think your biggest issue is you think that everyone is as big a romantic as yourself. Whereas in reality people don't 'fall in love' straight away, this isn't hollywood. Especially people who are travelling aren't looking for anything serious, you should stop getting so emotionally committed and certain what they feel of you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sure there's a lot of truth in what you say edin.

I don't agree completely, and would say that if you there you might have a different view. but I know that what you are saying is sensible and what most balanced people would think, and I agree that I can learn from what you say to an extent, and in man of the situations that occur.

I would go n to say that I am quite perceptive though, and that I genuinely do spark something in some girls, but I'm only going to look an even bigger caant if we go down that route

Anyway. Was inl tellng he story. I didn't set out to justify my behaviour, and I recognise that this is taking up a vastly disproportionate amount of space on the thread.

edin called me romantic readers

I don't think I went to the nightclub btw thinking 'wa hey, gonna fall in love tonight '.

I went thinking I was going to have a great night.

Inthink the falling in love stuff was either in my subconscious, or at least not at the top of my priorities.

When things went belly up though, the songs and the situation brought out that deeper emotion in me.

Tbh, if the guy hadn't been there, I'd have been cool as fack.