Many garden ornaments have red hats.

It's a little gnome fact

What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin

The population of Irish cities grows fast. It's always Dublin.

Me and the wife have taken up woodworking.
My mate said he didn't know we were carpenters.
I said.
"We've only just begun"

Do they only work on rainy days and Mondays?

Male golfer plays with a new lady member & gets beaten three days in a row by her...he's not happy at all

Lady member says look...i'll make it up to you, i'll cook for you & we'll see where it goes from there.

They end the night upstairs but the lady is actually a transvestite...

The Male golfer goes ballistic...you low down dirty cheating feck....he says

Transvestite says..ok ok we don't need to go any further...i'll leave

Male golfer says...its not that...do you know what really makes me fackin mad...?







you've been playing off the ladies tees all week....

Acknowledged

Thought you'd like that

I thought it was gonna say. I know where you've been hiding the balls

I met a girl online who was into tattoos One thing led to another and things got a bit steamy so I asked her for a sexy picture. In about five seconds, I received one with her boob out asking for a picture in return. I sent her one of my dragon tattoo. I guess that was a tiit for tat.

Everyone knows why 6 is afraid of 7, but did you know 6 is also afraid of 36? He really is just a big squaredy cat.

I couldn't figure out what to wear to the premature ejaculators convention. So I just came in my jeans.

Go on

comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 3 hours, 34 minutes ago
I couldn't figure out what to wear to the premature ejaculators convention. So I just came in my jeans.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
I guess nobody's ever late to that

Got in a hail storm in Italy.

Now my car is al dente

BREAKING: The UK has accused a North Korean cyber terrorist of trying steal military secrets

The alleged hackers' name is Mi Hak Yu

All in favour of getting rid of conjunctivitis?

The eyes have it.

Police stations now let prisoners take their own mugshots.

They're called cellfies

I was watching an Australian cooking show. The audience cheered when the chef made a meringue. Which baffled me cos I thought Australians boo meringues.

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

Some real koalaty here

comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 6 days, 13 hours ago
Police stations now let prisoners take their own mugshots.

They're called cellfies
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I donet gettit

comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 3 minutes ago
comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 6 days, 13 hours ago
Police stations now let prisoners take their own mugshots.

They're called cellfies
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I donet gettit
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Like selfish but cells as in police cells fam

comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 3 minutes ago
comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 3 minutes ago
comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 6 days, 13 hours ago
Police stations now let prisoners take their own mugshots.

They're called cellfies
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I donet gettit
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Like selfish but cells as in police cells fam
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Shellfish

What do you call a Spanish man hiding in your toilet?


Señor Bumhole