Why do the French only put one egg in an omelette?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
Told my wife she was awful at directions.
She was so mad she packed her bags and right
comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 2 minutes ago
Told my wife she was awful at directions.
She was so mad she packed her bags and right
----------------------------------------------------------------------
ooh i like this won
Where do bad rainbows go?
To prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.
I tried pigeon shooting.
But I had a hard time loading them into my gun.
If you had, it would've been a coup
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.
As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya go?"
"I won First Place!," said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see another sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering" says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"I won first place too." answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a third sign: "Contest - Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio quickly enters the contest. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is Donald Trump ?" asked Pinocchio.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Opportunist: Drinks both glasses while the other two are arguing about it.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into the same bar. But they didn't planet.
A vulture walks up to the airline counter to check in for his flight. The airline employee notices the vulture is holding a dead rabbit and asks “do you want to check that?” Vulture replies “no thanks, it’s carrion”
Scientists have begin studying the effects of marijuana on sea birds. So far they’ve left no tern unstoned.
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 56 seconds ago
Scientists have begin studying the effects of marijuana on sea birds. So far they’ve left no tern unstoned.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
how gullable do you need to be to believe that, need to weed out these guys squawking lies.....
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted less than a minute ago
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
those birds have never flown higher
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 2 seconds ago
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted less than a minute ago
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
those birds have never flown higher
----------------------------------------------------------------------
up to about 420 ft
apparently most seabirds now have an addiction to seaweed and have been advised to seakelp.
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 2 seconds ago
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted less than a minute ago
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
those birds have never flown higher
----------------------------------------------------------------------
up to about 420 ft
----------------------------------------------------------------------
thats crazy, as high as a kite.
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 1 minute ago
apparently most seabirds now have an addiction to seaweed and have been advised to seakelp.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
thats rather spliffing ... well done
Sign in if you want to comment
OnlyPuns (and other jokes)
Page 260 of 278
261 | 262 | 263 | 264 | 265
posted on 7/9/24
drove me in seine
posted on 7/9/24
Why do the French only put one egg in an omelette?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
posted on 8/9/24
Told my wife she was awful at directions.
She was so mad she packed her bags and right
posted on 8/9/24
comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 2 minutes ago
Told my wife she was awful at directions.
She was so mad she packed her bags and right
----------------------------------------------------------------------
ooh i like this won
posted on 8/9/24
Fam
posted on 9/9/24
Up-laws
posted on 9/9/24
posted on 9/9/24
Where do bad rainbows go?
To prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.
posted on 9/9/24
Brilliant!
posted on 9/9/24
I tried pigeon shooting.
But I had a hard time loading them into my gun.
posted on 9/9/24
If you had, it would've been a coup
posted on 9/9/24
Everyone have a gold
posted on 9/9/24
Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.
As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya go?"
"I won First Place!," said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see another sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering" says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"I won first place too." answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"
They continue walking when they see a third sign: "Contest - Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio quickly enters the contest. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is Donald Trump ?" asked Pinocchio.
posted on 10/9/24
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Opportunist: Drinks both glasses while the other two are arguing about it.
posted on 11/9/24
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into the same bar. But they didn't planet.
posted on 11/9/24
A vulture walks up to the airline counter to check in for his flight. The airline employee notices the vulture is holding a dead rabbit and asks “do you want to check that?” Vulture replies “no thanks, it’s carrion”
posted on 11/9/24
Scientists have begin studying the effects of marijuana on sea birds. So far they’ve left no tern unstoned.
posted on 11/9/24
begun*
posted on 11/9/24
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 56 seconds ago
Scientists have begin studying the effects of marijuana on sea birds. So far they’ve left no tern unstoned.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
how gullable do you need to be to believe that, need to weed out these guys squawking lies.....
posted on 11/9/24
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
posted on 11/9/24
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted less than a minute ago
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
those birds have never flown higher
posted on 11/9/24
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 2 seconds ago
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted less than a minute ago
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
those birds have never flown higher
----------------------------------------------------------------------
up to about 420 ft
posted on 11/9/24
apparently most seabirds now have an addiction to seaweed and have been advised to seakelp.
posted on 11/9/24
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 2 seconds ago
comment by whodunnit (U22710)
posted less than a minute ago
apologies after some research I may have been wrong, just see a video of loads puffin on an island
----------------------------------------------------------------------
those birds have never flown higher
----------------------------------------------------------------------
up to about 420 ft
----------------------------------------------------------------------
thats crazy, as high as a kite.
posted on 11/9/24
comment by InBefore (U20589)
posted 1 minute ago
apparently most seabirds now have an addiction to seaweed and have been advised to seakelp.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
thats rather spliffing ... well done
Page 260 of 278
261 | 262 | 263 | 264 | 265