comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted about 10 hours ago
Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how they like it!"
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😂
comment by Brian Gittins (U1449)
posted 10 minutes ago
comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted about 10 hours ago
Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how they like it!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
😂
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My boss calls me the computer.
Nothing to do with intelligence, I fall asleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
Little Johnny gets expelled from school for using the c word. His dad furiously says to him, "That wasn't clever was it?"
Little Johnny says, "No it was c**t"
My boss is threatening to fire the employee who has the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I asked my boss for a raise because 3 companies are after me. He asked me which ones? I replied: gas, water and electric...
1S2A3F4E5T6Y7
That's safety in numbers
I once mixed up the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza".
That got me in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Did you guys know that Mr. T never knew what happened to his long-lost brother? Mr. E.
Went to the doctors today about the headaches I often get. He asked what the frequency was. I said, “It hertz.”
What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.
Starter writing that comment before the third came in my apologies
The guy who invented umbrella was originally going to call it "brella". But he hesitated.
Just seen that NASA has launched a new mission to say sorry to the aliens. They've called it Apollo G.
What do you call it when Optimus prime gets a handjob? A carjacking.
Acupuncture. What’s the point?
Why can't you trust acupuncture specialists?
They'll always stab you in the back.
Did you hear that the Eiffel Tower is making people sick? It's a really big Paris site. Eiffel sick when i visited
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OnlyPuns (and other jokes)
Page 259 of 278
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posted on 23/8/24
comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted about 10 hours ago
Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how they like it!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
😂
posted on 23/8/24
comment by Brian Gittins (U1449)
posted 10 minutes ago
comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted about 10 hours ago
Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how they like it!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
😂
----------------------------------------------------------------------
posted on 30/8/24
My boss calls me the computer.
Nothing to do with intelligence, I fall asleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
posted on 31/8/24
Little Johnny gets expelled from school for using the c word. His dad furiously says to him, "That wasn't clever was it?"
Little Johnny says, "No it was c**t"
posted on 2/9/24
My boss is threatening to fire the employee who has the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
posted on 2/9/24
I asked my boss for a raise because 3 companies are after me. He asked me which ones? I replied: gas, water and electric...
posted on 2/9/24
posted on 4/9/24
1S2A3F4E5T6Y7
That's safety in numbers
posted on 4/9/24
I once mixed up the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza".
That got me in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
posted on 4/9/24
posted on 5/9/24
Did you guys know that Mr. T never knew what happened to his long-lost brother? Mr. E.
posted on 5/9/24
Went to the doctors today about the headaches I often get. He asked what the frequency was. I said, “It hertz.”
posted on 5/9/24
What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.
posted on 5/9/24
Double acknowledged
posted on 5/9/24
it was a trilogy
posted on 5/9/24
Starter writing that comment before the third came in my apologies
posted on 5/9/24
Started
posted on 5/9/24
acknowledged
posted on 6/9/24
The guy who invented umbrella was originally going to call it "brella". But he hesitated.
posted on 6/9/24
Just seen that NASA has launched a new mission to say sorry to the aliens. They've called it Apollo G.
posted on 6/9/24
What do you call it when Optimus prime gets a handjob? A carjacking.
posted on 6/9/24
posted on 6/9/24
Acupuncture. What’s the point?
posted on 6/9/24
Why can't you trust acupuncture specialists?
They'll always stab you in the back.
posted on 7/9/24
Did you hear that the Eiffel Tower is making people sick? It's a really big Paris site. Eiffel sick when i visited
Page 259 of 278
260 | 261 | 262 | 263 | 264