comment by macca (U9788)

Unfortunately and tragically, some people try to deal with this themselves, not realising that positive thinking and strong will is useless.

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I could not disagree more with this point. Positive thinking can get you through anything. This is why you have help groups where everybody shares their experiences and take positives from it. These people need the help of others whereas some people can help themselves remain positive. I always find the positive and try to aim towards it. My wife finds this hard to take as she doesn't want to listen to positives when she's depressed, she only focuses on the negatives. This shows two differences. People are different.

OP writer

If ignorance is bliss, you must be deleriously happy.

Again

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When I said positive thinking, I mean't trying to deal with depression by yourself. There are techniques such as cognitive behavioural therapy which helps people change the way that they respond and prevent depression setting in, and this is very effective.

However, people need support and treatment from trained Doctors and nurses to deal with these things. Attempting to deal with these things alone should be discouraged

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That reiterates what I have been saying. If she didn't have me, then no doubt things would be much worse for her but because she does, I can help her by being positive, it is a struggle but I get her through it. She won't goto a doctor due to having to pay for it and won't accept my money.

So some people need others to help them through it, some can do it alone.

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comment by idontlikemondays (U6377)
posted 25 seconds ago
Thing is, some people cant share their thoughts in fear of seeming needy or being labeled a nutter so bottle it all up

I lost a good friend last year and it was as much as a shock as Gary Speeds was yesterday, trust me its always the person you least expect that do these things
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Exactly. The people who need help often don't ask for it and this is the problem. When something terrible happens due to this, the family are left wondering why they couldn't have seen it, which is soul destroying. These types of people need to share their feelings, whereas others can get through it.

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People need to feel that admitting they need help won't lead to prejudice and stigma. Hopefully people will start to realise that it is not something to be ashamed of. The only way to do this is for the general view of mental illness to change. A lot of people on here show that times have changed, but there are still many people who don't understand this.

Depression does'nt have any prejustice.
Rich poor, man woman, old young.

Macca

A lot of people dont realise they're depressed or they've got a mental illness or they dont want to admit it. A lot of people may just keep things to themselves and carry on doing it for years thinking its the norm, until it gets to a point where they feel the need to end their own life.

When I said prejudice, I mean't from other people.

MrChelsea- tragically you are right. If we educate people to recognise the symptoms, maybe people will realise what they are feeling is not normal. I don't know.

I dont know about cowardice but this type of suicide must have been pre-planned.

You dont just think of doing it & have all the necessary equipment already in place, surely.

Of course i wish him to R.I.P. but i just cant imagine things getting so bad that i would want to take this way out, regardless of how bad things are, but then i hope i never find out.

With regards to a few very judgemental comments by people condemning me for my being judgemental, I have experienced minor depression for the best part of a year, I put on about 3 stone which im still struggling to shed, lost my job, cried a hell of alot. Ive also seen the affect of it on a family. My best friends growing up, Auntie that isnt an Auntie, her eldest daughter killed herself. It destroyed my Auntie to the point she had to go to a mental home, leaving the family without a Mum. It took the best part of ten years for her to get back to strength. For me it was a selfish act, sure I cant think what theyre thinking to be able to do that and in a certain way it takes a massive ammount of strength to be able to take your own life. However I just think that as a father, who has decided to have kids, he had a responsibilty to those children. Thats my view.

Regarding the guy who keeps telling people this matter should not be discussed and that we are wrong to do so, youre way of offering advice as if you know more than everybody else and telling them they are wrong is very obnoxious and self righetous. Give it up buddy.

Chicken.

I cant quite fathom how someone can go from making tv appearances and going to World Cup qualifying draw meetings and going to strictly come dancing as a guest of robbie savage to hanging themself. It just doesnt add up and for his friends and colleagues to say, there was no sign of depression at all, tells me it wasnt pre planned at all. im thinking it was a spur of the moment decision. one which he got horribly wrong. i dont think you can perform a high profile role such as the wales managers job with all the media commitments that go along with it, without someone finding out you were down in the dumps. Sad he chose this way to end his life

Regarding the guy who keeps telling people this matter should not be discussed and that we are wrong to do so, youre way of offering advice as if you know more than everybody else and telling them they are wrong is very obnoxious and self righetous. Give it up buddy.
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I don't think the matter shouldn't be discussed. I just don't think it should be discussed within the context of Gary Speed. There are a lot of assumptions being made here about his reason's and until there is an inquest we just don't know what they are.

comment by blue mosaics (U4753)
posted 57 seconds ago
Regarding the guy who keeps telling people this matter should not be discussed and that we are wrong to do so, youre way of offering advice as if you know more than everybody else and telling them they are wrong is very obnoxious and self righetous. Give it up buddy.
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I don't think the matter shouldn't be discussed. I just don't think it should be discussed within the context of Gary Speed. There are a lot of assumptions being made here about his reason's and until there is an inquest we just don't know what they are.
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Exactly!

I think the use of the term 'cowardice' is something that does sit very uneasy with me when we are possibly talking about an illness.

The statement "surely his life wasn't so bad that it warranted leaving two mentally scarred children behind" is also clearly not the case given it is apparent that he has killed himself.

I have no interest in having a debate on the morality of suicide on this forum

I don't think anyone will understand why someone would choose to take their own life. But as a parent I think it's rather sickening to leave them without a father, no matter how bad he was feeling !

Ye I agree, regarding that second statement, that was quite a poor judgement. Fair play there.

comment by Captain_Positivity (U2394)
posted 1 minute ago
I don't think anyone will understand why someone would choose to take their own life. But as a parent I think it's rather sickening to leave them without a father, no matter how bad he was feeling !
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If you'd read the thread you'd see that sometimes it is not a choice but an illness that overcomes you.

Mr Chelsea,

I obviously dont want to go too deep into it, as it may offend people, or it may be against house rules etc but i just cant see how you can just get a thought like this off the cuff, have the equipment to hand, find a spot to do it & know you have enough time to do it.

In saying that, a friend of a friend (i know it sounds a bit made up but this is true) did the same thing, he waved his (pregnant) wife & young child off to the park & when they returned, he too did the same thing & was hanging from the garden shed.

No signs, no clue & no consideration was given to his wife or kid.

Very strange behaviour.

Okay here's a scenario and I'm not relating this in any way to Gary Speed, I'm just trying to give an alternative view to the one that is being bandied around on the boards about the reasons for suicide.

Scenario: A successful business guy has a wonderful wife and kids. She is beautiful and intelligent, the kids are the apple of his eye, life can't get better. He arrives home and she tells him she doesn't love him any more and tomorrow she's leaving with the kids. She's made her mind up and he won't change it. She goes off to sleep in the spare room. He sits up all night and round about 5:00am (the worst time for feeling bad about one's self) he decides he can't face a future without them and does away with himself.

Now that's just as valid a reason for suicide as the one that's being discussed and one that just as worthwhile discussing as depression - but not in the context of any individual.