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OnlyPuns (and other jokes)

Page 265 of 275

comment by Pun (U21588)

posted on 8/10/24

comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 39 minutes ago
comment by WeekendOffender (U22920)
posted 4 hours, 36 minutes ago
For sale. Limited edition bottle of tippex from China.


It’s a correctors item.
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oooh eye like this one
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I have given it OP status

posted on 8/10/24

Was in a Museum yesterday and thought I was looking at a portrait of a Scottish inventor, but I was mistaken as it was actually a French Protestant.

It's not Watt, you know, but Huguenot.

comment by Pun (U21588)

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted 2 hours, 8 minutes ago
Was in a Museum yesterday and thought I was looking at a portrait of a Scottish inventor, but I was mistaken as it was actually a French Protestant.

It's not Watt, you know, but Huguenot.
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posted on 8/10/24

comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted 3 hours, 9 minutes ago
Was in a Museum yesterday and thought I was looking at a portrait of a Scottish inventor, but I was mistaken as it was actually a French Protestant.

It's not Watt, you know, but Huguenot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

comment by Pun (U21588)

posted on 8/10/24

Took less than a day for the Pun of the Month to be usurped lol

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted about 3 hours ago
Was in a Museum yesterday and thought I was looking at a portrait of a Scottish inventor, but I was mistaken as it was actually a French Protestant.

It's not Watt, you know, but Huguenot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

posted on 8/10/24

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary bl0w job."

posted on 8/10/24

Sheepdog says to farmer: "I got all 50 sheep in the pen!" Farmer says to dog: "But I only have 46 sheep." Sheepdog says to farmer: "I know, I rounded them up."

comment by #4zA (U22472)

posted on 8/10/24

Donet get it

posted on 8/10/24

comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 16 minutes ago
Donet get it
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It's funny cos the dog is talking.

comment by Pun (U21588)

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Clockwork Red: KindUgarten Cop (U4892)
posted 1 minute ago
comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 16 minutes ago
Donet get it
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It's funny cos the dog is talking.

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posted on 8/10/24

comment by Pun (a.k.a Piranha) (U21588)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by Clockwork Red: KindUgarten Cop (U4892)
posted 1 minute ago
comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 16 minutes ago
Donet get it
----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's funny cos the dog is talking.

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Haha

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 4 hours, 18 minutes ago
Sheepdog says to farmer: "I got all 50 sheep in the pen!" Farmer says to dog: "But I only have 46 sheep." Sheepdog says to farmer: "I know, I rounded them up."

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this is good

comment by Pun (U21588)

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Sheriff JW Pepper (U1007)
posted 4 minutes ago
comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 4 hours, 18 minutes ago
Sheepdog says to farmer: "I got all 50 sheep in the pen!" Farmer says to dog: "But I only have 46 sheep." Sheepdog says to farmer: "I know, I rounded them up."

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this is good
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Meh that one does the rounds on facebook every few weeks

posted on 8/10/24

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field

posted on 8/10/24

Guy has a sign up says - talking dog for sale

Bloke comes to look & hears the dog...can't believe all the brave things the dog tells him he's done... he's rescued 20 humans from mountains and car wrecks and at sea all sorts...

Bloke goes back & says - that's unbelievable - your dog can really talk...why are you selling him

Guy says






Because he's a fackin liar...he's never done any of that stuff



posted on 8/10/24

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, 'They’re right behind you!

posted on 8/10/24

My uncle Eric was a ventriloquist.

He wasn't a very good ventriloquist though.

When I was a kid he put his fingers in my bum and told me to say nothing.

posted on 8/10/24

"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.

Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Barf Vader (U15867)
posted 59 minutes ago
My uncle Eric was a ventriloquist.

He wasn't a very good ventriloquist though.

When I was a kid he put his fingers in my bum and told me to say nothing.
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Wrong...and brilliant

posted on 8/10/24

comment by WeekendOffender (U22920)
posted 40 minutes ago
"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.

Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Slick

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Pun (a.k.a Piranha) (U21588)
posted 34 minutes ago
comment by Sheriff JW Pepper (U1007)
posted 4 minutes ago
comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 4 hours, 18 minutes ago
Sheepdog says to farmer: "I got all 50 sheep in the pen!" Farmer says to dog: "But I only have 46 sheep." Sheepdog says to farmer: "I know, I rounded them up."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
this is good
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Meh that one does the rounds on facebook every few weeks
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Not all about you pundee

comment by Pun (U21588)

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by Pun (a.k.a Piranha) (U21588)
posted 34 minutes ago
comment by Sheriff JW Pepper (U1007)
posted 4 minutes ago
comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 4 hours, 18 minutes ago
Sheepdog says to farmer: "I got all 50 sheep in the pen!" Farmer says to dog: "But I only have 46 sheep." Sheepdog says to farmer: "I know, I rounded them up."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
this is good
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Meh that one does the rounds on facebook every few weeks
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Not all about you pundee
----------------------------------------------------------------------
That's Pundee United to you son

posted on 8/10/24

comment by Pun (a.k.a Piranha) (U21588)
posted less than a minute ago
comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 2 minutes ago
comment by Pun (a.k.a Piranha) (U21588)
posted 34 minutes ago
comment by Sheriff JW Pepper (U1007)
posted 4 minutes ago
comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 4 hours, 18 minutes ago
Sheepdog says to farmer: "I got all 50 sheep in the pen!" Farmer says to dog: "But I only have 46 sheep." Sheepdog says to farmer: "I know, I rounded them up."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
this is good
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Meh that one does the rounds on facebook every few weeks
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not all about you pundee
----------------------------------------------------------------------
That's Pundee United to you son
----------------------------------------------------------------------
who?

posted on 8/10/24

Barry rings up his boss.
I am sorry boss I won't be in work today.
Barrys boss: Why not?
Barry: I have a wee cough.
Barrys Boss: You have a wee Cough?
Barry: Oh thanks boss, I was only going to take today off.

Smart one that Barry fella

Page 265 of 275

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