Hey Pun I just found out you compulsively collect Wonder Woman merchandise. You need to face the truth: you’re a heroine addict.

I can’t take my pooch to the park anymore. The swans and ducks keep biting her. Think it’s because she’s pure bread.

A young Pun asked his father if he could try coffee. Pun’s dad said “Sure son! Have a sip.” Pun took a sip and immediately spat it out. “Yuck!” he said, “This tastes like dirt!” “Well of course it does, son. It was ground this morning!” J/k Pun doesnt know his father

If pronouncing my B's as V's makes me sound Russian, then Soviet.

My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I was hiding. She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again.

It is really unfortunate that Islam, Judaism, and Christianity have been fighting each other for centuries. Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

My dad is FrankoCantona

My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night...

...she almost poked my eye out!

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.
The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

Tried to walk like an Egyptian the other day. Ended up needing a Cairo-practor.

comment by downtheplughole (U22523)
posted 21 hours, 35 minutes ago
I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.
The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.
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chortle

comment by downtheplughole (U22523)
posted 21 hours, 39 minutes ago
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night...

...she almost poked my eye out!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
chortle

comment by Clockwork Red: KindUgarten Cop (U4892)
posted 13 minutes ago
Tried to walk like an Egyptian the other day. Ended up needing a Cairo-practor.
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Still managed to walk a Pharaohld way

I think my dyslexic partner is cheating on me. She keeps sending me texts telling me she wants to do Alan.

My teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.
But so far I've made three jugs and a vase and they're lovely.

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.

How do you know if a Yorkshire man is dyslexic?
He'll be wearing a cat flap.

Excellent sutff

my german gurlfrend likes too rate our seeeeex sessions outta 10

one nite we tride anal n she musta enjoyed it as she kepped yellin NEIN!

comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 1 minute ago
my german gurlfrend likes too rate our seeeeex sessions outta 10

one nite we tride anal n she musta enjoyed it as she kepped yellin NEIN!
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Achgnawlegged fam

comment by downtheplughole (U22523)
posted about an hour ago
How do you know if a Yorkshire man is dyslexic?
He'll be wearing a cat flap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
chortle

What's the difference between a farmer and a pimp?
The farmer makes an honest living with his hoe

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets? Tallyhoes.

What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pumpkin

comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 55 seconds ago
What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pumpkin

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