I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a chicken and met a girl dressed as an egg. An age old question was answered, the chicken.

Went to another one dressed as a turtle and my girlfriend was on my back as the shell. Every1 kept asking who’s that on you back, and i got to reply that’s Michelle.

comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 1 minute ago
I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a chicken and met a girl dressed as an egg. An age old question was answered, the chicken.
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ahahahaha thats brilliant

comment by #4zA (U22472)
posted 1 hour, 19 minutes ago
my german gurlfrend likes too rate our seeeeex sessions outta 10

one nite we tride anal n she musta enjoyed it as she kepped yellin NEIN!
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Is she one of those 10 hags?

how does Santa afford to make toys? he uses all the money from his ho ho ho's

Policeman knocked on my door and asked if I was familiar with the letters HB. I said no.

"How about LS?"

"No."

"What about JD?"

I asked, "Am I a suspect or something?"

The policeman said, "No, these are just initial inquiries."

Nobody ever calls Vehicle Identification Number Diesel by his full name.

A police officer knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. I said "That’s ridiculous, my dogs don’t even own bikes."

comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 2 minutes ago
A police officer knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. I said "That’s ridiculous, my dogs don’t even own bikes."

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yer

A police man came up to me with a sniffer dog and said, "This dog tells me you're on drugs.....''
I said "I'm on drugs? you're the one talking to dogs."

Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.
I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

Boeing have announced a merger with Tottenham Hotspur, and will rename the problematic Starliner; the Boeing Spursy.

comment by WeekendOffender (U22920)
posted 1 minute ago
Boeing have announced a merger with Tottenham Hotspur, and will rename the problematic Starliner; the Boeing Spursy.
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That's who they are mate

Met a girl who runs a battery kiosk at the local park.

She sells C cells by the seesaw

posted 4 hours, 25 minutes ago

Met a girl who runs a battery kiosk at the local park.

She sells C cells by the seesaw
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you ought to be charged with that joke

My friend has recently inherited a chain of Launderettes and is now a millionaire.

Lucky sud

They say size doesn’t matter,

But for the life of me i cant get this f-ing shoe on.

comment by downtheplughole (U22523)
posted 1 day, 3 hours ago
They say size doesn’t matter,

But for the life of me i cant get this f-ing shoe on.
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Saw a band last night called "Prevention"...

They were better than "The cure"

See the just stop oil protesters have scaled Big Ben

It’s high time the police put a stop to that

Tried streaming that new Bohemian Rhapsody movie last night but the quality was sheit... I could only see a little silouetto of a man!

comment by Inbefore (U20589)
posted 2 minutes ago
Tried streaming that new Bohemian Rhapsody movie last night but the quality was sheit... I could only see a little silouetto of a man!

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comment by Glen Bulb (U1449)
posted about an hour ago
See the just stop oil protesters have scaled Big Ben

It’s high time the police put a stop to that
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Chuckle