comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 4 days, 23 hours ago
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Doctor, what’s going on?” asked the concerned father-to-be.

“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
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Oh yes

My wife wants to add a Jack Russell to the Scotties we already adopted.

I think she has an all terrier motive

comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 8 minutes ago
My wife wants to add a Jack Russell to the Scotties we already adopted.

I think she has an all terrier motive
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My daughter isn't going to school today she isn't feline very well

comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 11 seconds ago
My daughter isn't going to school today she isn't feline very well
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She'll lose her purrfect attendance record

comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 4 minutes ago
My daughter isn't going to school today she isn't feline very well
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comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted 3 minutes ago
comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 11 seconds ago
My daughter isn't going to school today she isn't feline very well
----------------------------------------------------------------------
She'll lose her purrfect attendance record
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How do camels learn to mate ?
They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....

Don't take the hump

comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 3 minutes ago
How do camels learn to mate ?
They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....
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Whereas llamas and alpacas don't really read it, they just Peruse it

comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted 5 minutes ago
comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 3 minutes ago
How do camels learn to mate ?
They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Whereas llamas and alpacas don't really read it, they just Peruse it
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never trust Peruvian owls, they're all Inca hoots

comment by Pun (U21588)
posted 10 minutes ago
comment by Jalisco Red (U4195)
posted 5 minutes ago
comment by bestoftherest2021 (U22523)
posted 3 minutes ago
How do camels learn to mate ?
They read the Llama Sutra.

Alpaca my bags, I think.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Whereas llamas and alpacas don't really read it, they just Peruse it
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never trust Peruvian owls, they're all Inca hoots
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I bought a wooden whistle.

But it wooden whistle

So I bought a steel whistle.

But it steel wooden whistle

So I bought a lead whistle

But it steel wooden lead me whistle

So I bought a copper whistle.

But the copper steel wooden lead me whistle

So I bought a tin whistle.

Now I can whistle

Have you heard the 3 time world limbo champion has been stripped of his title for cheating?

I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

Apparently dogs bark an average of 457 times a day.

But that's just a ruff estimate.

Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies.
Women’s heads are much harder to put back on in real life.

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of Chapstick...She still isn't talking to me.

My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?"

"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

She looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"